The “God Knew What He Was Doing” Marriage

Posted by David on June 20, 1999 under Sermons

[This lesson was introduced by a video presentation of a marriage situation entitled One Flesh presented by Paul and Nicole Johnson. Running time: 6 minutes and 45 seconds.]

I believe that God is the origin of all things. I believe that all things began in the ideal state of existence. I believe that our physical and spiritual beings have their origin in God. I believe that we were made in the image of God. I believe that the original design and intent of God was for men and women to experience ideal companionship in an ideal relationship which was to exist in marriage.

Do you believe that? If you say, “Yes,” what do you mean by your “yes?” Do you mean that you believe that as a fact? Or do you mean that you trust that God’s way works in marriage since God is the origin of man, woman, and marriage?

1. Marriage as intended by God has many objectives.
   1. God’s highest object in marriage is companionship. It was intended to produce:
      1. The greatest form of friendship that could be experienced in human existence.
      2. The most compassionate relationship that could be experienced on earth.
      3. The most caring interaction that two people could ever know.
      4. The most supportive relationship two people could experience.
      5. The most genuine understanding two people would ever find.
      6. The greatest level of trust two people would ever know.
      7. The most genuine commitment that could be experienced.
      8. The most dependable relationship that could exist between two people.
      9. The greatest source of love that could be experienced in human relationships.
      10. The source of the greatest appreciation that a person would ever know.
   2. If marriage existed as God intended, it would be impossible for another person to provide these qualities on the level and to the extent that a husband or wife could provide them for each other.
      1. Why?
      2. No one could possibly know and appreciate you as did your husband or wife.
      3. No one could understand you as did your husband or wife.
      4. No one could value you as did your husband or wife.
2. “Well, that surely does not describe marriage today–not even among Christians!”
   1. For many people, marriage is the source of enormous misery.
      1. That is not a new reality; that is a ancient reality.
      2. Sometimes when we deplore the instability of marriage today we create the impression that marriage was more successful in past generations and much, much happier.
         1. A few decades ago the divorce rate was much lower in this society.
         2. That is a fact, but the basis of the fact is not that marriages were more successful.
            1. I am confident that older couples here could tell us a lot about misery existing in marriages in the first half of this century.
            2. Abuse, neglect, adultery, and incest are not new.
            3. Individual rights were virtually nonexistent, and no matter how severe circumstances were, there were few options and few places to turn for help.
      3. A significant factor in the rise of the feminist movement in our society was the exploitation of the woman in too many marriages in past generations.
   2. The truth: ideal companionship is rare in marriage.
      1. Marriages in which the husband and wife share the highest quality of:
         1. Friendship
         2. Compassion
         3. Caring
         4. Support
         5. Understanding
         6. Trust
         7. Sensitivity
         8. Reliability
         9. Love
         10. Appreciation
         11. Are the exception.
      2. Why is marriage such a common source of mental, emotional, and physical misery?
         1. Troubled marriages exist for a long list of reasons.
         2. May I suggest four very common reasons.
            1. Reason one: too many of the people marrying do not know how to be a husband or a wife.
               1. They grew up in a divorced home, a seriously dysfunctional home, a seriously troubled home, or a home in which there was little togetherness or interaction.
               2. They were deprived of the opportunity to see a loving, successful marriage relationship as it functioned.
               3. Their concepts of what a husband is to be or what a wife is to be is seriously, dangerously flawed long before they marry.
            2. Reason two: They distrust God’s principles that produce marital companionship.
               1. There are far more homes in which God has no presence at all than there are homes in which God plays an important role.
               2. In the homes where God has a presence, often when these homes are distressed, husbands and wives do not believe that God’s principles work.
            3. Reason three: Too many women and men experience failed expectations in marriage.
               1. “He or she is not what I expected.”
               2. “Being married is not what I expected.”
               3. “I do not feel what I expected to feel in my marriage.”
            4. Reason four: the purposes of marriage are perverted.
               1. The wife believes that the real reason that her husband married her was to take care of domestic responsibilities.
               2. The husband believes that the real reason that his wife married him was to find security.
               3. “You did not marry me because you valued me; you married me because of what I could do for you.”
3. What are God’s principles that produce superior companionship in marriage?
   1. Before we consider the principles, we need two basic understandings.
      1. No marriage can produce the companionship God intended through the efforts of one person; it must be a joint effort.
      2. There must be a mutual desire to improve the relationship.
   2. The principles:
      1. You love and respect the person to whom you are married as you love and respect yourself (Ephesians 5:33).
      2. You treat your husband or wife as you prefer to be treated (Matthew 7:12).
         1. You forgive as you want to be forgiven.
         2. You show mercy as you want to receive mercy.
         3. You encourage as you wish to be encouraged.
         4. You seek to be as unselfish as you want him or her to be.
      3. You constantly pray for guidance, wisdom, and understanding to develop as the husband or wife you can become.
   3. Do you have confidence in God’s principles?
      1. Successful marriage is very much a faith issue.
         1. Is that surprising?
         2. If God is the origin of the relationship, how can it fail to be a faith issue?
      2. Do you believe that if you are God’s person that God will work in your relationship?
         1. When I say, “Do you believe that?” I specifically mean do you trust that?
         2. Do you trust it enough to act on your trust?

If you want your marriage to constantly grow toward the ideal relationship, there is an attitude that you must not have, and an attitude that you must have. The attitude that you must not have is this: “When you are, I will be.” The attitude that you must have is this: “I will be so that you may become.”

Dads Speak To Dads

Posted by David on under Sermons

(On Father’s Day each of the four ministers at West-Ark shared “a father’s perspective.” Brad Pistole, youth minister, spoke briefly from the perspective of a father of preschool children. He has two. Ted Edwards spoke briefly from the perspective of a father of teens. Two of his three children are teens. Roy Dunavin spoke briefly from the perspective of a grandfather. He has sixteen grandchildren from preschool to young adult. David Chadwell gave concluding comments.)

MEMORIES: DAD’S GREATEST POWER
by David Chadwell

My father died six years ago. He had a dream, a dream that he tried to make happen. He had two sons. He wanted both sons and their children living in the same community with him. That dream never happened.

This last Tuesday we had a reunion of my immediate family. Mom, Jack, and I were there. Two of Jack’s three children were there, and all of his grandchildren but two. Two of my three children were there, and all of my grandchildren but one.

We spent the late afternoon until dark with the children playing in the large front yard of my childhood home. The adults played with the kids and visited with each other. The kids got to know each other and realize that they were family. As I watched, several times I thought how thrilled Dad would have been to watch that scene were he alive and without Alzheimer’s.

It also confirmed something that I have thought a lot about in the past few months. The greatest power of a father in a family is his influence. The greatest family influence a father has is in the memories that he builds in his children.

1. We fathers are so easily deceived by the values of our every day world.
   1. Through deception we accept an upside down set of priorities and values.
      1. It is more important to give your child an exceptional bed and excellent food than it is to show him or her your love.
      2. It is more important to give your child a wonderful house than it is to spend time with him or her.
      3. It is more important to give your child the opportunity to be in countless activities than it is to build a sharing, caring relationship with him or her.
      4. It is more important to give your child his or her desires than it is to discipline fairly with love because you care about the person he or she becomes.
      5. We fathers are easily deceived into believing that what we can afford to buy for our families is more important than giving ourselves to our families.
   2. The time that our children are at home is actually a very small part of our lives.
      1. When our children are living at home, we think it is a lifetime, but it is far, far from a lifetime.
      2. In adolescence our children begin the process of becoming a distinct self, an independent person.
      3. When a young adult child leaves home, he or she can be as different and as independent as he or she chooses.
   3. When our children are living at home, we have a lot of options.
      1. We can discipline in a variety of ways.
      2. We can use our adult advantages to manipulate, intimidate, and coerce.
      3. At this stage, we think we have all kinds of power over our children.
      4. When they are gone, and sometimes even before they are gone, we learn that we have very little power over our children.
2. What are your strongest memories of your father?
   1. Whatever those memories are, good or bad, they are the living influence of your father in your life.
      1. Whether you admit it or not, those memories touch your mind and your heart in the most private moments of your life.
         1. Maybe those memories bring a tear to your eye and a lump to your throat as you remember again how grateful you are that he was your Dad.
         2. Maybe those memories bring anger and a vow that you will never be like your dad.
         3. Maybe there are no memories–just a void and a deep regret that you never knew him.
      2. The simple truth is this: no father, present or absent, is a neutral, meaningless force in his child’s life.
   2. What memories of you will live in your adult child’s life?
      1. Everyday your child is at home is an opportunity to build a memory.
      2. You never know when you are building memories.
      3. You cannot even identify the moments when you are building your most powerful memories.
      4. But be certain of this fact: the most powerful influence you have on your child when he or she leaves home will be in his or her memories.
      5. Those memories will live in your children and impact the lives of your grandchildren long after you have died.

No memory has the power of this memory: Dad was a fair, kind, loving, responsible person who was genuine and godly in mind, heart, and behavior.

As God prepared to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah for their wickedness, he wondered if he should tell Abraham about His plans. He decided that He would for the following reason:

Genesis 18:19 For I have chosen (known) him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

If God wondered if He should inform you of a decision, would He decide that He should inform you for that same reason?

The “I Always Disappoint You” Marriage

Posted by David on June 13, 1999 under Sermons

[This lesson was introduced by a video presentation of a marriage situation entitled Courage for the Run presented by Paul and Nicole Johnson. Running time: 7 minutes and 53 seconds.]

A powerful, internal influence touches virtually everything we are and everything we do every day of our lives. Much of the time this powerful influence is so silent that we are not even aware it exists. Though it influences our thinking, our actions, and our feeling, we are more likely to deny that it exists than to acknowledge that it is there.

What is this powerful, hidden influence? It is our family of origin. In every day language, it is the home and family of our childhood.

1. If you doubt the power of this influence, consider this.
   1. The most significant family in the Bible was Abraham’s family.
      1. Abraham was the person God searched for to set His plan in motion.
      2. From Abraham came the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people.
      3. From Abraham came Jesus, God’s own son, who became the Christ.
      4. Because of Abraham, you and I can be sons and daughters of God through faith in the Christ.
      5. No family has influenced spiritual history as did Abraham’s family.
   2. Consider the power of the family of origin.
      1. God promised Abraham that through him and his wife Sarah nations would descend and the Christ would be born.
         1. Sarah was as central to God’s plan as was Abraham.
         2. Abraham is known for his incredible ability to trust God’s promises.
         3. Yet, In spite of God’s promise, in fear for himself, Abraham told people that his wife was his sister.
         4. Years later, Abraham’s adult son, Isaac, in fear for himself said that his wife was his sister.
      2. Rebekah masterminded a plan to deceive her blind husband, Isaac, and urged Jacob to execute the deception.
         1. As a man, Jacob was a deceiver who achieved his goals by deception.
         2. Ten of Jacob’s sons deceived him about the death of his son Joseph.
2. The family of origin is the powerful hidden influence that touches every marriage in unexpected ways.
   1. When we marry, we do not anticipate that the person we marry will be so powerfully influenced internally by his or her parents.
      1. Clearly understand that I am not talking about the external influences that parents have on their grown children; I am speaking of the internal influences of parents on the person you marry.
      2. We say to ourselves, “I am marrying him, not his family; I am marrying her, not her family.”
         1. Then, when we least expect it, we hear her mother in her voice or we see his father in his actions.
         2. Seeing that living, internal influence in his or her life astounds us.
         3. Sometimes that influence is good, but have you noticed how rarely we see and comment on the good influences?
         4. Sometimes that influence is distressing; it is then that we say, “You are acting just like your mother,” or “That sounds like your dad.”
   2. Why are childhood experiences in childhood families so powerful? Why does this influence continue to live in a husband or a wife even if the couple is a thousand miles from parents?
      1. Our parents give us the most important education of our lives.
         1. It is the most intensive educational experience we ever receive.
         2. It comes at the most impressionable, critical time in our lives.
         3. It comes in the most powerful educational circumstances we experience.
      2. The education, given us as we live as a part of our family, is a total environment education occurring twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
         1. In this environment, you are taught by instruction, by experience, by example, by observation, by consequences, and by rewards.
         2. You absorb this education as a whole life experience.
      3. The educational environment of the family is an environment of:
         1. Reasoning, good and bad, sound and unwise.
         2. Emotion, good and bad, responsible and irresponsible.
         3. Feelings, good and bad, constructive and out of control.
         4. Interaction, good and bad, in multiple relationships and an enormous variety of situations.
   3. What transforms the environment of my childhood home into such a powerful influence in my marriage?
      1. It is in my childhood family that I form my basic concepts and understandings of how a man interacts with a woman and a woman interacts with a man.
         1. How should a man treat a woman, and how should a woman treat a man?
         2. How does a man talk to a woman, and how does a woman talk to a man?
         3. What is appropriate for husbands and wives to discuss? What subjects should be discussed and what subjects should never be discussed?
         4. How do husbands and wives disagree? How do they seriously disagree?
         5. When you fight, how do you fight? Destructively or fairly?
         6. Should you forgive or should you hold grudges?
         7. Does control, manipulation, or deception play a role in husband and wife relationships?
         8. Is being open and honest with each other good or bad?
         9. How do husbands and wives express their anger?
         10. Should feelings be suppressed or expressed?
         11. How do husbands and wives show love? How do they express affection?
         12. Long before a person marries, these concepts and understandings are learned as absolutes that are not to be questioned.
3. Some influences from our family of origin have a unique power.
   1. Some of these unique influences are healthy and help build solid marriage relationships. They include:
      1. The willingness to be open, to share thoughts and feelings.
      2. The willingness to be kind to your husband or wife.
      3. The willingness to be honest in marriage.
      4. The willingness to show love and affection.
      5. The willingness to encourage.
      6. The willingness to disagree in constructive, healthy ways.
      7. The willingness to compromise.
      8. An understanding of how to be unselfish.
      9. A healthy, positive self-image.
   2. Some of these influences are extremely unhealthy and create very unstable marriage relationships. They include:
      1. A negative self-image that screams internally, “You will never be good enough; you will always be a failure.”
         1. In a struggle that the person commonly loses, he or she sees self in competition with everyone and everything including his or her spouse.
         2. He or she feels driven to prove something to self that does not need to be proved and cannot be proven.
      2. The inability to express and show affection.
         1. Sometimes the fear of rejection blocks affection.
         2. Sometimes affection is considered weakness.
         3. Always affection is dangerous because it makes you vulnerable.
      3. A sense of failure or worthlessness.
         1. “Mom or Dad always told me that I was stupid and incapable.”
         2. “Nothing I ever did as a child was good enough.”
         3. “I will never be successful.”
         4. “I will always fail to meet people’s expectations.”
      4. A sense of superiority and arrogance.
         1. “Mom or Dad always told me that I was better than other people.”
         2. “I am better than everyone else.”
         3. “I deserve more than anyone else.”
         4. “I am special and everyone should treat me special.”
      5. A sense of selfishness and irresponsibility.
         1. “The world exists to take care of me and give me what I want.”
         2. “My spouse has the privilege of being married to me and serving me.”
   3. Your family of origin is the likely source of three realities that will powerfully affect your life and thereby affect your marriage.
      1. Your value system.
      2. Your attitude toward money.
      3. Your attitude toward responsibility.

What you believe your parents thought of you can exercise more power in your marriage than what your spouse actually thinks of you.

While our home of origin is a powerful influence, it does not have to be an enslaving, negative influence. If we will be honest with ourselves, we can nurture the good influences and learn how to reject the control of negative influences.

Remember, one of Jacob’s son was Joseph. As a boy, he was treated as the favorite and became an arrogant, pride-filled, bratty teenager. But as an adult, he developed into a remarkable man of honor, honesty, and integrity. He became an incredible servant of God. He trusted God in extremely difficult circumstances, and he learned from his experiences. He dared break the cycle of behavior that had been passed from one generation to the next in his family.

Do We Dare Pray This Prayer?

Posted by David on under Sermons

If you consider yourself to be a Christian, I want to think with you this morning. I want to think with you about one of the most horrible experiences that can occur in a believer’s life. I am talking about a spiritually devout person.

This believer in God is absolutely certain that he or she is right. He or she “knows that I am right!” He or she is so certain about being right that he or she vigorously opposes other believers who are “wrong.” He or she is totally convinced, totally certain, and totally confident. He or she has no doubts about his or her convictions. “I know what is right! I know what is best! I know what must happen!”

Then, in an unavoidable moment and undeniable way, this person discovers unquestionably that he or she is wrong. Devastation! Crisis! This person always took pride in declaring, “I am a person of integrity.” This believer who is a person of integrity has discovered that his or her whole spiritual focus is wrong. Now what will the person do? If this happened to you, how would you handle it? What would you do? I hope that the first thing you would do is pray, long and earnestly, with an open heart.

1. That very situation happened to a man whose name was Saul (Acts 8:1-3; 9:1-30).
   1. Saul was totally convinced that he knew God; understood God; understood God’s plan, God’s purposes, God’s objectives; and knew the truth.
      1. He was so certain that he arrested and voted for the execution of Jewish Christians.
      2. Why?
      3. Because he knew and was right, and they did not know and were wrong.
   2. As he made a trip to find and arrest Christians, he had a person-to-person encounter with the resurrected Jesus.
      1. When that meeting was over he was blind, helpless, and knew that he was wrong.
      2. He was devastated.
      3. Acts 9:9 says that he did not eat or drink for three days, and Acts 9:11 says that he was praying.
      4. Wonder what he prayed about? Wonder what requests he made?
2. Again, I am specifically talking to those of us who are Christians.
   1. Silently, in your minds and hearts, I want you to answer some questions. I am not trying to trick you; I am trying to challenge your perspective.
      1. Do you believe in God?
      2. Do you believe that God is wise, and His wisdom is superior to our wisdom?
      3. Do you believe that God has the power to make things happen?
      4. Do you believe that God sent Jesus Christ for the specific purpose of making our salvation possible?
      5. Do you believe that God has eternal purposes and objectives right now?
      6. Do you believe that God loves you and wants to save you?
      7. Do you believe that living eternally with God is the most important thing that can happen in your existence?
      8. Do you believe that if you do not go to live with God, every achievement of your earthly life will be meaningless?
   2. Would you dare pray this prayer?
      1. “Father, coming home to live with you is the most important thing in all my existence. If that does not happen, my life will fail You and me.
      2. “You proved how earnestly You want me to live with You.
         1. “For millennia you endured human failure and human wickedness.
         2. “You even sent us Your son and let him die for our wickedness and failure.
         3. “You made promises to us that You will always keep: promises of grace, mercy, and forgiveness, and love.
         4. “If I fail to live with You, it will be my failure, not Yours.
      3. “This is my request: whatever needs to happen to make certain that I live in eternity with You, please let it happen.
      4. “Whatever experiences that I need in my life:
         1. “To teach me how to trust You and not myself.
         2. “To lead me to totally depend on You.
         3. “To open my eyes and my heart to Your values and Your priorities.
         4. “To guide me to live and behave as Your son or daughter.
         5. “Whatever those experiences are, let them happen.”
   3. If you are certain that you are right, do you dare pray that prayer?
      1. If your weak faith is in yourself instead of God, do you dare pray that prayer?
      2. If you are struggling in your life, do you dare pray that prayer?
      3. If you are wrestling with evil in your life, do you dare pray that prayer?
      4. If you know that God does not occupy the place in your life that should be His, do you dare pray that prayer?
      5. If you just go through the religious motions of religious habits, do you dare pray that prayer?
   4. Do you dare pray that prayer for:
      1. Your husband?
      2. Your wife?
      3. Your children?
      4. Your parents?
      5. Anyone you deeply care about?
3. Making an educated guess, I suspect that most of us are afraid of that prayer.
   1. “O God, please let me eternally live with You. Please let me live in heaven.
      1. “Save me, but don’t let me experience changes. I am afraid of change.
      2. “Save me, but don’t let me face sacrifices. I don’t want to give up anything.
      3. “Save me, but don’t let me suffer. I never want to hurt.
      4. “Save me, but don’t let me experience any form of physical need. I want fun now and heaven later.”
   2. Why do we feel this way?
      1. If we are talking about ourselves, perhaps we feel this way because:
         1. We think that we are on our own.
         2. We think that God is far away from us.
         3. We are afraid.
         4. We struggle to trust the promises.
      2. 1 Peter 5:6,7 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. We have no confidence in the power of humility.
         2. We are not convinced that the humility gives us access to God’s might.
         3. We do not understand how God exalts through humility.
         4. We do not understand how humility destroys anxiety.
         5. Even though we praise God for the crucifixion, we hesitate to totally trust the truth that God takes care of us.
      3. Matthew 6:31-34 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. We worry about the same things that people who do not believe in God worry about.
         2. We have little confidence in the fact that God understands our needs.
         3. We hesitate to trust God’s assurance that the direct way to receive His care is to devote ourselves to the kingdom’s work and purposes.
         4. We place more confidence in the power of worry than the power of God.
   3. If we are talking about the people we love, we feel this way because we are afraid that God will answer our prayer.
      1. We don’t want the people we love to suffer.
      2. We don’t want them to experience hardships.
      3. We realize that if we ask God to work in their lives and experiences in any way necessary to bring them to a saving faith, God likely will use suffering and hardship.
4. I would like for you to pay close attention to two prayers Paul offered for some of his Christian friends.
   1. Ephesians 3:14-19 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      1. May we be strengthened in our inner person.
      2. May our faith let Christ live in our hearts every minute of our lives.
      3. May we be rooted and grounded so deeply in love that we are unshakable.
      4. May we become fully aware of the complete work of God in Christ and the kingdom.
      5. May our lives, our hearts, and our minds be filled with God’s fullness.
   2. Philippians 1:9-11 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      1. May our growing love be the foundation of our knowledge and our ability to make wise decisions.
      2. May we approve of things that are spiritually excellent.
      3. May this make us genuine and without blame when Christ returns.
      4. May our lives be filled with the fruits of righteousness.
      5. May our existence give praise and glory to God every day that we live.

[Prayer to place our trust in God.]

I have never known a Christian who spiritually survived any tragedy in life who was not blessed. They have no desire to relive the tragedy. But they are profoundly grateful for the blessings.

Any experience in life that leads us closer to God, that deepens our ability to trust God, that causes us to rely on God brings blessings so unique, so powerful that is hard to express them with words.

The “Too Busy To Be Married” Marriage

Posted by David on June 6, 1999 under Sermons

[This lesson was introduced by a video presentation of a marriage situation entitled Marriage on the Run presented by Paul and Nicole Johnson. Running time: 8 minutes and 33 seconds.]

How busy are you? Too busy? Too busy for what? Too busy to live at home? Too busy to mow the lawn? Too busy to change the oil in the car? Too busy to cook? Too busy to eat at home? Too busy to wash clothes? Too busy to go to bed? To busy to exercise? Too busy to have fun? Too busy to be married?

Ask any ten people who work, or any ten people on a career track, or any ten people who own their own business, or any ten people who are a part of the corporate world, or any ten ordinary, everyday folks, “Are you too busy?” and the majority will say, “Yes!” You likely would have difficulty finding many people who did not have too much to do.

Being too busy is the common, typical life circumstance of Americans.

1. We live in a nation and society that functions on the principles of capitalism.
   1. The merry-go-round of our economic approach to life keeps the majority of us running in circles.
      1. Two important principles in our economic system are (a) free enterprise and (b) expanding markets.
         1. Free enterprise guarantees you the right to organize and operate your business competitively without government control as long as you do not threaten the public’s interest.
         2. For business to thrive in our economic system, we must increase the need for our service or our product.
      2. For our economic system to function, there must be a market that is always growing, always expanding.
         1. You either identify an existing market, or you create a market for your service or product.
         2. To expand a market or to create a market you must do three basic things.
            1. You must identify a need.
            2. You must make people aware of the need.
            3. You must convince people that their well-being or their happiness depends on fulfilling that need.
         3. That is the purpose and objective of advertising.
            1. Advertising exists to make us want.
            2. When advertisement succeeds in making us want, advertising must then convince us that we need what we want.
            3. Advertising exists to convince us that our lives will not be fulfilled unless we acquire what we want and believe that we need.
   2. But, that is not enough to sustain our economic system.
      1. It can never be enough to acquire what you want and think you need.
         1. As soon as you acquire what you think you need, you must be motivated to want something else.
         2. Only by creating new wants that become new needs can the system grow.
      2. This is a basic objective of this approach to marketing in our system:
         1. Motivate people to be dissatisfied.
         2. But, at the same time, convince people that the key to happiness is being satisfied.
         3. Convince people that they will be satisfied if they acquire what they want.
         4. But, in business never forget that satisfaction and contentment are the enemy of our economic system.
      3. This economic view creates a way that we look at life, and we commonly call this view of life “reality.”
         1. And the overwhelming majority of us buy this view of life and never question it.
         2. So we all climb on the merry-go-round and learn to move in circles.
         3. We get so busy that we cannot get off.
         4. We have to do more to acquire more.
         5. Because we acquire more, we have to do more.
         6. And the number one casualty of our being too busy is our marriages.
2. What are the three greatest needs we all have in life?
   1. Well, let’s see if we can identify the three.
      1. Could they be:
         1. A house
         2. The right clothing
         3. A car
      2. Could they be:
         1. A job
         2. A bank account
         3. A credit card
      3. Could they be:
         1. An education
         2. A good career
         3. A economically secure future
   2. I do not believe any of those are the three; may I suggest these three:
      1. To be meaningfully loved just for being myself.
      2. To be genuinely forgiven when I fail and repent.
      3. To share my life meaningfully with someone else.
   3. No matter what you acquire, it is impossible to reach the highest level of fulfillment in life without those three.
      1. These three experiences can never be found in a house, clothes, and a car.
      2. Nor can they be found in a job, a bank account, and a credit card.
      3. Nor can they be produced by an education, a good career, and a secure economic future.
   4. These three things can be found when a husband and wife build and sustain a mature, responsible, godly marriage.
      1. Those three things are the highest objective of successful companionship in marriage.
      2. They are the three pillars that sustain the marriage relationship.
         1. In a healthy marriage, the husband and the wife know as a fact, “I am loved, and I am loved just because I am me.”
         2. In a healthy marriage, the husband and the wife extend each other real forgiveness for failures when there is repentance.
         3. In a healthy marriage, the husband and the wife live life meaningfully with each other.
      3. To the degree these three things are true, the marriage is healthy and responsible.
      4. To the degree these three things are not true, the marriage is weak and irresponsible.
      5. To the degree these three things are true, companionship characterizes the marriage, and companionship in marriage was the intent of God.
   5. But because we “buy” without question the concept of “reality” produced by the creative marketing goals of our economic system, we neglect and abuse the most critical earthly relationship that we have, marriage.
      1. No earthly relationship has as much impact on our total lives as does the marriage relationship.
      2. No relationship can bring as many basic blessings to life as can marriage.
      3. No other human relationship brings as many benefits to the family of God.
      4. In a perfect world, there would be two things:
         1. There would be open communication in intimate relationship with God.
         2. There would be the ideal companionship shared by husbands and wives.
         3. The only time a perfect world existed, those two relationships were a part of it.
3. Next week Joyce and I will celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary.
   1. Compared to a number of marriages in this congregation, we are youngsters.
   2. I confess to you freely that Joyce is the greatest, most significant earthly gift that God has given me.
   3. “Looking back, is there anything that you would do differently?”
      1. Surely!
      2. I would not neglect Joyce because of my commitments to other people.
      3. I would not impose on Joyce by making her pay the price of my over-commitment.
      4. I would make time commitments to Joyce as important as time commitments that I made to any other person.
      5. I would be much more diligent not to be too busy.

What is the greatest threat to your marriage? There are many, many serious, deadly threats to your marriage: lack of commitment, debt, shallow relationships, selfishness, the love of pleasures, other relationships, growing apart, stress, materialism–the list is much too long to complete.

But the greatest threat to your marriage is the threat created by simply being too busy to be married. Many other threats become threats simply because you were too busy.

The first thing that you can do to protect and preserve your marriage is to guard against being too busy to be married.

Being a Parent: Our Challenge

Posted by David on under Sermons

I received a letter by e-mail a few days ago. It was addressed only to me. It was unsigned. It was not from Fort Smith. I have deleted facts from the letter. I want to share it for two reasons. (1) I think it is very unlikely that anyone would identify the person or the family. (2) It makes a powerful, obvious point.

“Would you please pray for my Daddy? He left us just one week after our house burned down and after that my sister tried to kill herself. She says that she wants to go to heaven to be with God. Sometimes I do too but most of all I want my Daddy to come home so we can be a real family. Please pray for my Daddy. We used to go to church all the time. Then Daddy left us and I really don’t feel like going back but my Mom says we have to because we have to keep God in our lives. I just want my Daddy back. It’s not the same just seeing him part of the time. I want him here all the time. [We] really want our Daddy back.”

It takes parents to rear a child. It has always taken parents to rear a child.

1. Abraham sent his oldest and most trusted servant, back to Abraham’s people to find a wife for his son, Isaac (Genesis 24).
   1. The servant returned to the land and the people that Abraham left years before.
      1. There with God’s help he found Rebekah who agreed to return with him to marry Isaac.
      2. When she arrived with the servant, she immediately became Isaac’s wife.
      3. For the first time recorded in the Bible it states this husband loved his wife: “and she became his wife; and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death” (Genesis 24:67).
   2. As the years passed, something terrible happened.
      1. This marriage that began as a love relationship disintegrated into something ugly and wicked.
      2. When Isaac was 60, Isaac and Rebekah had twin sons, Esau and Jacob.
      3. Isaac was partial to Esau, and Rebekah was partial to Jacob.
         1. The two boys were total opposites, and they became men who were total opposites.
         2. Neither of them was a son to be proud of: Esau was shallow and irresponsible, and Jacob was a deceitful opportunist.
      4. In the late years, Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage was a disaster and the family was horribly dysfunctional.
         1. Rebekah formed, directed, and executed a plot that deceived her blind husband and literally stole the position of head of the clan for Jacob.
         2. Esau was infuriated and vowed to kill Jacob as soon as his father died.
   3. What happened?
      1. How did a marriage that began as a love relationship disintegrate into these deplorable conditions?
      2. Between the marriage of love and the rivalry over the twins, we are told this incident.
      3. Isaac moved to Gerar (Genesis 26:7-11).
         1. Rebekah was beautiful, so the men of that area asked about her.
         2. Isaac feared that they would kill him in order to marry his wife.
         3. So, in fear for himself, Isaac told the men that Rebekah was his sister.
         4. Later the king saw Isaac behaving toward Rebekah in a manner that only a husband would act toward his wife, and the king was furious because Isaac had lied to his people.
      4. This is my speculation, but I cannot help but wonder.
         1. I wonder if the occasion that killed love in their relationship was the time when Isaac was more concerned about his life than his wife?
         2. I wonder if his willingness to put her at risk killed her love?
   4. Where did Isaac ever get the stupid idea to tell that lie?
      1. From his father, Abraham (Genesis 1210-20).
         1. His father told the same lie about his mother for the very same reason.
         2. But there was a difference: Abraham consulted with Sarah before he lied so Sarah was forewarned, and Sarah was his father’s half-sister.
         3. It says nothing about Isaac consulting Rebekah, and Rebekah was not his sister.
2. New parents, you have begun the most fascinating journey people can make on earth: because you are parents, in your child, a part of you will continue to live on earth after your death.
   1. It takes more than giving birth to a child to be healthy, responsible, godly parents. I say this to both husbands and wives.
      1. Don’t neglect your marriage for your children.
      2. Don’t neglect your children for your marriage.
      3. Don’t neglect your children and your marriage for yourself.
      4. Don’t neglect your God for your marriage, your children, and yourself.
   2. The greatest, most important challenge that you face as parents is the challenge to find the balance that allows you to be a Christian, a Christian spouse, and a Christian parent.
      1. You will not locate that balance one time one year and establish it forever.
      2. Finding that balance is a journey that will last the rest of your life.
3. “Wow! Wait a second! We are going to need some help!”
   1. Those are true words: parents absolutely need help.
      1. I am not suggesting that parents be relieved of parental responsibilities.
      2. When we become parents, we must choose to be responsible, godly parents.
         1. When a child is born, birth and being were not the child’s decision.
         2. The child exists through no act or decision of his or her own.
         3. Much of what happens the rest of the child’s life is powerfully influenced by the father and mother.
   2. But everything that happens in a person’s life is not determined by the father and mother.
      1. Mom and Dad must help the child develop into a young adult who is capable of making good choices and wise decisions.
      2. However, no matter how much preparation and love that person received from Mom and Dad, he or she still makes the choices and decisions.
         1. The choice of pleasure: will he or she choose delayed gratification or instant gratification?
            1. Pleasure foolishly says choose instant gratification; feel good right now.
            2. Wisdom says choose delayed gratification; right now feelings are deceitful.
            3. Each person chooses.
         2. The choice to be responsible: will he or she accept responsibility for his or her actions, or will he or she always blame someone else?
            1. Folly says, “It is never your fault!”
            2. Wisdom says, “Be accountable for your choices and acts.”
            3. Each person chooses.
         3. The decisions of integrity: will he or she be selfish and deceitful, or will he or she understand that honesty and truth are the core of healthy existence?
            1. Folly says, “All that counts is you and today; nobody and nothing else matters!”
            2. Wisdom says, “Life finds its value and meaning in treating other people like you wish to be treated.”
            3. Each person decides.
4. In this evil, selfish world, it takes more than parents to rear children.
   1. They need the support that can exist only in a congregation that understands it is God’s family. That congregation exists to:
      1. Build a nurturing environment that cares about people as it helps them discover how to live.
      2. Show compassion and mercy to those who want to recover and turn life around.
      3. Be a people who are open, honest, and genuine every day.
      4. Love as it seeks the best interest and the highest good of the person.
   2. In such a congregation there are certain things that must always be obvious:
      1. Joy in relationship with God and each other.
      2. People who are recovering, whose recovery creates even more joy.
      3. Caring concern for people who suffer the consequences of mistakes.
      4. Powerful friendships that bless you and stand by you and with you.
      5. People who take care of people physically and emotionally.
   3. Our children will grow up with more temptations and opportunities to rebel than you can count, and you are powerless to eliminate that reality.
      1. Pleasure calls to them every single day of their childhood and adult life.
      2. Irresponsibility guarantees them immediate access to pleasure.
      3. Integrity is ridiculed as stupidity.
      4. We cannot keep our children from being tempted, and we cannot make it impossible for our children to yield to temptation.
   4. But we can become the most powerful influence on earth–the family of God. We can be:
      1. As loving as Jesus.
      2. As merciful as Jesus.
      3. As compassionate as Jesus.
      4. As forgiving as Jesus.
      5. As caring as Jesus.
      6. As people-centered as Jesus.

There is no substitute on earth for healthy, responsible parents, and there never will be. There is no substitute on earth for the family of God, and there never will be.

Encouraging Those Who Are Reaching Out

Posted by David on May 30, 1999 under Sermons

Reading: Acts 13:1-3 Now there were at Antioch, in the church that was there, prophets and teachers: Barnabas, and Simeon who was called Niger, and Lucius of Cyrene, and Manaen who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. While they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” Then, when they had fasted and prayed and laid their hands on them, they sent them away. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

The congregation in Antioch had the largest, most successful work outside the city of Jerusalem. The work of sharing Christ was going so well that they had five prophets and teachers working in the city. The work was so successful that Barnabas personally made a long, special trip to find Saul and bring him to that city to work. In the middle of all that opportunity and success, the Lord called two men away from that team to other needs and works. Few of the works were as successful as was the work they left.

Barnabas and Paul were sent to their new work with encouragement.

1. Next Saturday morning for the ninth consecutive year we have a group leaving to spend an intensive week of work in Guyana.
   1. Read the names of the forty-seven people going.
   2. In this group:
      1. Thirty-two are members of this congregation.
      2. Four are former members of this congregation.
      3. As of this trip, one hundred thirteen members of this congregation have been a part of the nine groups that worked in Guyana.
   3. In the past two trips:
      1. Over two thousand people saw a doctor on each trip.
      2. In 1997 fifty-one decided to be baptized into Christ.
      3. In 1998 sixty-three decided to be baptized into Christ.
   4. The group will be engaged in four activities:
      1. The sick will receive medical attention.
      2. Those interested will have one-on-one Bible studies.
      3. Teens will teach VBS-type classes in schools.
      4. Roy Dunavin, Ted Edwards, and Larry Roper will preach each evening in three different places.
   5. Michael Cole, who coordinates the group, will lead us as we pray for the group’s safety.
2. Compassion for the sick and suffering:
   1. Readings about Jesus and Christians’ concern for the sick:
      1. Peter told the group assembled in Cornelius home, Acts 10:38 You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      2. Matthew 4:23-25 Jesus was going throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people. The news about Him spread throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all who were ill, those suffering with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, paralytics; and He healed them. Large crowds followed Him from Galilee and the Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and from beyond the Jordan. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      3. Matthew 9:35-38 Jesus was going through all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness. Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      4. Matthew 14:13,14 Now when Jesus heard about John, He withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by Himself; and when the people heard of this, they followed Him on foot from the cities. When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      5. Acts 5:12,14-15 At the hands of the apostles many signs and wonders were taking place among the people; and they were all with one accord in Solomon’s portico. ..And all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women, were constantly added to their number, to such an extent that they even carried the sick out into the streets and laid them on cots and pallets, so that when Peter came by at least his shadow might fall on any one of them. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   2. Mat Griffin will lead us in a prayer for the sick who will receive treatment.
3. Love for those who need to hear the good news about Jesus Christ.
   1. Readings about those who heard:
      1. Acts 2:5, 6 Now there were Jews living in Jerusalem, devout men from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the crowd came together, and were bewildered because each one of them was hearing them speak in his own language. … ¹⁴ But Peter, taking his stand with the eleven, raised his voice and declared to them: “Men of Judea and all you who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you and give heed to my words. … ^{40, 41} And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying, “Be saved from this perverse generation!” So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      2. Acts 5:14 And all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women, were constantly added to their number… (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      3. Acts 11:19-24 So then those who were scattered because of the persecution that occurred in connection with Stephen made their way to Phoenicia and Cyprus and Antioch, speaking the word to no one except to Jews alone. But there were some of them, men of Cyprus and Cyrene, who came to Antioch and began speaking to the Greeks also, preaching the Lord Jesus. And the hand of the Lord was with them, and a large number who believed turned to the Lord. The news about them reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas off to Antioch. Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And considerable numbers were brought to the Lord. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   2. Jerry Canfield will lead us in prayer for those who will hear the good news about Jesus.
4. Glorifying God for our Savior and salvation:
   1. Readings that glorify God for salvation:
      1. Ephesians 1:3-8 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      2. 1 Timothy 2:1-4 First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   2. Buster Herren will lead us in prayer as we glorify God for our Savior and salvation.
5. We as Christians are given three basic responsibilities by God.
   1. The first is to spiritually mature as God’s son or daughter.
   2. The second is to encourage our brothers and sisters as they grow and develop in Jesus Christ.
   3. The third is to share our Savior with all the people in the world.
6. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   1. To those of us who placed our trust in Jesus Christ, who redirected our lives to live for God, and who were baptized into Christ, I give us this challenge.
      1. Mature in the Lord.
      2. Practice discipline and run to win.
      3. Do not preach to others, and fail to qualify yourself.
   2. To those who have not yet placed their trust in Jesus, or redirected their lives to live for God, or been baptized into Christ,
      1. We invite you to accept God’s gift of forgiveness and salvation.
      2. We invite you to share our Savior.

[Invitation song]

Would You Choose To Live In Hawaii or Heaven?

Posted by David on May 23, 1999 under Sermons

I want to begin this morning with a typical joke about heaven. The joke illustrates some common perspectives I want you to consider.

A man and his wife were killed in an automobile accident and awoke in heaven. As he and his wife were welcomed to heaven, he was asked, “Are you glad to be here?”

He replied, “To tell you the truth, I don’t know. You see, when I lived on earth, I played golf every day. I love to play golf! I don’t know how much I can enjoy living in a place where I can’t play golf.”

“That is no problem. You can play golf here.” Upon that statement, the man was shown a golf course more magnificent than any course on earth. He was told that he could play a different course just as nice as this one every day if he wanted to. And they were all free. And he would never hit a bad shot.

The man began sobbing uncontrollably. His wife asked, “What is wrong with you? You are in heaven. You can play golf every day free on the best golf courses that you have ever seen. Why are you sobbing?”

Through his sobs, he replied, “If you had not put me on that horrible oat bran diet after my heart attack, I could have been here ten years ago.”

1. There are hundreds of versions of that joke, but many of the jokes about heaven share some common perspectives.
   1. First, heaven is commonly portrayed as a physical place.
      1. That is certainly understandable since we are physical beings living in a physical world.
      2. We simply cannot grasp that which is real but is not physical.
         1. We struggle to grasp many physical realities.
         2. Most spiritual realities are simply beyond our comprehension.
   2. Second, heaven is commonly portrayed as a place where time exists.
      1. It is a place where you never get old and do not die.
      2. But it is also a place that marks the passing of time with days and nights.
   3. Third, heaven is a place for having fun.
      1. One of our highest priorities in the American society is having fun.
      2. That can be a high priority because we live in a prosperous society that has the money for recreation and vacations.
      3. Having fun is not a high priority with people that are poor, starving, and burdened with disease.
2. Given our common view of the heavenly existence, if you had to choose, would you choose to live in Hawaii or heaven?
   1. First, let’s remove hell from the equation.
      1. Hell is real and is a valid consideration.
      2. But in my understanding of the Bible, the primary reason for going to heaven is not to escape hell.
   2. Hawaii offers astounding circumstances:
      1. Fabulous sunsets and beautiful scenery.
      2. The opportunity for easy living.
      3. Incredible opportunities for having fun.
      4. An unbelievable climate.
   3. The picture of heaven that commonly draws our images is found in Revelation 21 through 22:5.
      1. Nobody has reason to cry; nobody dies; there is no sadness; there is no grief; and there is no pain.
      2. This square city is surrounded by an enormous, high wall with three gates into the city on each side, but the gates never close.
      3. It is a city of incredible wealth–the walls are covered with jewels, the gates are made of pearl, and the streets are paved with such pure gold that they are crystal clear. Have you ever seen transparent gold?
      4. The city is like a cube: 1500 miles wide, 1500 miles long; 1500 miles high.
      5. The whole city is made of pure gold that is transparent.
      6. There are no temples, no church buildings because God lives there–everyone can see Him and Christ.
      7. Nothing influenced by evil is there; there is no deceit there.
      8. It has a river that flows from under God’s throne.
      9. It has a main street that runs through the center of the city.
      10. On each side of the river there are trees; each tree bears twelve kinds of fruit; and there is ripe fruit to eat every month.
      11. There is no night because the glory of God and Christ constantly illuminate the city.
   4. Where would you like to live, Hawaii or heaven?
      1. “Well, to be truthful, the thoughts of living in a walled city with gold buildings does not sound inviting or comfortable.”
         1. “Having a river flowing through the city and having fruit trees might be pretty, but it does not sound exciting.”
         2. “Walking on streets of gold has never been a big deal to me.”
         3. “Certainly, the absence of sorrow, pain, and death sound wonderful.”
      2. “But Hawaii sounds very appealing!”
3. I want to call your attention to two things.
   1. First, the picture of heaven drawn in Revelation 21 and 22 is a symbolic picture that had special meaning to the people in the first century.
      1. Do you remember what Paul told the Corinthian Christians in 1 Corinthians 15:50?
         1. Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         2. The physical does not exist in the spiritual realm.
         3. Life in heaven is as real as life on earth, but heaven is not physical.
      2. There is no flesh and blood, no physical gold, no physical river; no physical food, no physical necessities.
   2. Second, then what does that picture in Revelation mean?
      1. Remember the rest of the book.
         1. The church in Ephesus struggled with evil men (2:2).
         2. The church in Smyrna knew great suffering and poverty (2:8).
         3. The church in Pergamum existed where Satan’s throne was and saw a member killed for his faith (2:13).
         4. The church in Thyatira had an immoral woman of great influence in the congregation (2:20).
         5. The church in Philadelphia was in severe conflict with people who belonged to Satan (3:10).
         6. The church at Laodicea was wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked (3:17).
      2. In a number of places Revelation describes an enormous, destructive conflict that caused pain, suffering, and death to Christians.
      3. The suffering and deaths of Christians are so terrible that in Revelation 6:10 Christian martyrs are pictured as crying out to God from beneath God’s throne, “How long are You going to wait until You avenge our deaths?”
   3. Then what did the picture of heaven mean to Christians of the late first century?
      1. It is a place of total, absolute safety where no one can be harmed.
         1. Then the safest cities were walled cities build on hill tops.
         2. With no gun power or bombs, gates and walls kept enemies out.
      2. The best way to attack a walled city was by a siege that let no one go in and no one come out.
         1. Because the city was built on a hill, the water supply was outside the city.
         2. Cut the people off from water and food, and in time they would surrender.
      3. For everyone, inside the walls or out, darkness was the time of greatest danger.
         1. Thieves, robbers, and evil people came at night.
         2. Since there was little artificial lighting, if there were enough of them, you were helpless.
      4. Where God lives there is nothing to fear because there are no dangers.
         1. The gates are never closed because there are no enemies.
         2. It is never dark, so you are never vulnerable.
         3. There are no evil people there; there is no one to harm you.
      5. Even if an enemy did exist, the enemy could not hurt the people in that city.
         1. There is a river that gives life right in the middle of the city.
         2. You can’t starve there; there are trees that never stop bearing fruit.
      6. There is no poverty there.
         1. The city is made out of gold.
         2. No one who lives in this city is in need.
   4. Do you see the point God made to these suffering Christians?
      1. God’s place is a secure place of peace where there is no suffering.
      2. Where God lives there is no fear, no dying, no sorrow.
      3. No one can hurt you there, and you are never vulnerable.
      4. There are no enemies, there are no dangers, there is no need.
4. I have no idea what physical symbols God would use today to try to explain what life with Him is like, but I know some realities He would emphasize.
   1. All pain and rejection would cease to exist including those produced by broken relationships, divorce, insecure children, abuse, lovelessness, hate, anger, bitterness, and sorrow.
      1. He heals all those who live with Him of such wounds.
      2. Wounds created by pain and rejection never exist again.
   2. There is no death or sorrow where God lives.
      1. No death of a child, no death of a loved spouse, no death of a mom or dad or best friend.
      2. Never is there reason to grieve about anything in God’s world.
   3. There is no evil where God lives.
      1. God will destroy any evil in you and me through His forgiveness and grace so that you and I will never hurt anybody.
      2. In the same manner, God will destroy the evil in everyone else so no one will ever hurt us again.
      3. No people who are controlled or ruled by Satan live with God.
   4. There is no insecurity where God lives.
      1. Those who live with God will never experience being afraid again.
      2. There is nothing to fear.
      3. There are no terrors or anxieties real or imagined.
   5. Where God lives there is love, acceptance, joy, and peace.
      1. Absolutely nothing can interrupt them.
      2. And that situation never ends.
      3. And you will never be old or disabled, and you will never die.

[Song of reflection: 867 – To Canaan’s Land I’m On My Way]

There are some realities I cannot imagine. Amazingly, we earnestly try to produce these realities our physical world, yet none of us can imagine the world with them.

I cannot imagine: a world with zero hate; a world with zero anger; a world with zero deceit; a world with zero abuse; a world with zero violence; a world with zero fear.

I cannot image: a world with 100% love; a world with 100% kindness; a world that accepts every person for who he or she is; a world that sees only good, that encourages only good, that nurtures only good because it is a world totally free from every form of evil. I cannot imagine a world of perfect recovery for all who repent.

Such a world exists. God invites every one of us to live in it. I hope that you would rather live in heaven than Hawaii. You may never make it to Hawaii, but you can live with God.

Violence In a “Fix-A-Flat” Society

Posted by David on May 2, 1999 under Sermons

[Place a can of Fix-A-Flat^® on a stool by the pulpit before the assembly.]

A few months after we moved to Fort Smith, Joyce and I rode the streets of the neighborhood late one Saturday afternoon. About an hour after we came home, Joyce noticed we had two flat tires. It was almost dark Saturday evening. And we have two flat tires–one spare tire is not enough.

I solved the immediate problem with a can of Fix-A-Flat^®. It temporarily sealed the hole and inflated the tire. Compared to the flat tire, it looked great. It looked like I had actually solved the problem.

But my problem only appeared to be fixed. The “fix” was very temporary. Fix-A-Flat^® is a short term solution.

1. Last week was indescribably traumatic for this nation.
   1. The shootings that occurred on April 20^th at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, put the nation in a state of shock.
      1. The fact that another act of violence occurred did not shock us; we have become quite accustomed to violence.
         1. Drive-by shootings are nothing new.
         2. Rapes are a common occurrence.
         3. Drug related deaths bring only the comment “what can you expect.”
         4. Domestic violence rates only a shrug of the shoulders.
         5. Suicides bring a confused shake of the head.
      2. But there are certain safe zones in our society.
         1. There shall be no violence in:
            1. A hospital.
            2. A rest home.
            3. Facilities for the mentally challenged.
            4. A church.
            5. Or a school.
         2. When violence occurs in these “safe contexts,” we are shocked.
   2. The Littleton shootings were major fuel for our great social debate: Why is America so violent? Why do kids kill kids in our wealthy society?
      1. We still don’t “get it.”
         1. To those of us who lived in hard times, material prosperity was the answer, the solution.
         2. To those of us who have known only prosperity, material prosperity is boring, and empty, and depressing.
         3. Ask your teenager, “Is this a wonderful time to live in America?”
      2. Predicably, the shootings produced an urgent quest to find something or someone to blame.
         1. The media is to blame because it publicizes violence.
         2. The forms of entertainment that glorify violence are to blame.
         3. It is the peer’s fault for harassing and rejecting the two young men.
         4. It is the parents’ fault; they should have known.
         5. It is the teachers’ fault; they should have known.
         6. It is the fault of the police; they had earlier warnings.
         7. It is security’s fault; it was not prepared.
         8. It is society’s fault; we own too many guns.
         9. It is mental healthy’s fault; our troubled children are not getting help.
      3. Each of those realities has merit.
         1. Each of them acknowledge a real problem.
         2. But each of them have limitations.
         3. And none of them address the core problem.
   3. Second only to the question of “Why?” was the question, “What is the solution?”
      1. You know our American society.
      2. Every problem must have a quick fix that is effective immediately.
      3. A problem takes two decades to reach complexity, but there must be an effective solution that solves the problem in a few days.
      4. A “right now” solution must exist and provide a quick fix that is effective immediately.
      5. The proposed solutions rang out:
         1. Better security.
         2. Metal detectors.
         3. Eliminate access to guns.
         4. Arm the teachers.
         5. Regulate the violence in the video games.
         6. Eliminate violent content in entertainment.
         7. Pass laws that make parents accountable for their children’s actions.
   4. The third question quickly followed, “Who is to blame?”
      1. Fingers pointed in 360 degrees.
      2. You know our American society; it always someone else’s fault.
      3. We must determine who is to blame, and they will be sued.

   I want to say something that only a few people have voiced to me. You may powerfully agree with me; or you may powerfully disagree with me. I am not seeking agreement. I am asking you to form a perspective. I am challenging you to open your eyes.

2. What Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did was incredibly evil.
   1. Every aspect of everything they did was evil.
      1. Their hatred was evil.
      2. Their motive was evil.
      3. Their intent was evil.
      4. Their values were evil.
      5. Their hero was evil.
      6. Their deeds were evil.
   2. There is an incredible irony in that truth: a significant segment of our society does not believe in the existence of evil.
      1. The younger the adult, the less likely he or she is to believe in the existence of evil.
         1. Many teenagers do not believe evil exists.
         2. Some teens believe that evil represents the highest form of good.
         3. Everything is good.
         4. Nothing is to be condemned.
      2. Does your child believe that evil exists? What is his or her definition of evil?
   3. Moral vacuums cannot exist, not in individuals, not in families, not in society.
      1. For decades our society has worked to restrict or remove the influence of God from every possible sector of life.
      2. Our humanism denies the influence of God.
      3. Our secularism belittles the influence of God.
      4. Our materialism prostitutes the influence of God.
      5. The result: our society increasingly endorses moral values that oppose God.
   4. As this transition grows:
      1. Our society increasingly devalues human life.
         1. Consider abortion, domestic violence, rape, suicide, murder.
         2. Recently, Bill Smith [an elder in the White’s Ferry Road congregation, in West Monroe, Louisiana, who is an experienced trainer, teacher, and authority in the development and use of the small group ministry] observed that the legal problems for a person who destroys an eagle’s egg are far more serious than the legal problems of a person who aborts a baby.
      2. As a society, we are a self-indulgent, self-centered people who regard pleasure, gratification, fun, and indulgence as life’s highest priorities.
   5. Only God teaches:
      1. The value of a soul is greater than the whole world.
      2. The highest calling of life is to be a servant to everyone.
      3. There is greater blessing in giving than receiving.
      4. We should pray for those who hate us and bless those who abuse us.
      5. We determine how we treat others by examining how we want to be treated.
      6. We forgive rather than hate.
      7. We exalt and value compassion, mercy, kindness, and tenderheartedness as noble virtues.
      8. It is no coincidence that as society distances itself from God that these values evaporate.
      9. It is no coincidence that the more significant God is in a person’s life, the greater respect the person has for people.
3. If I suggested we do it Jesus’ way, would you tell me, “It won’t work!”
   1. The first century world in which Jesus lived and died was an evil, violent world.
      1. Peter started a boycott of goods and services throughout the Roman world.
      2. Paul led a grass roots movement for political reform.
      3. Barnabas lobbied the Roman senate for laws restricting weapons distribution.
      4. Timothy started an empire-wide petition for a just, equitable security system.
   2. That sounds so ridiculous you look at me like I am crazy.
      1. A world-wide movement began with lost, broken, outcasts who had no hope.
      2. In God, in Jesus Christ, they found an eternal reason to live and to die.
      3. The result: in sixty years the world experienced changes never dreamed of because people changed one person at a time.
   3. Explain to Peter, Paul, James, John, Barnabas, Timothy, Titus, Apollos, Stephen, Mary, Martha, Priscilla, Dorcas, Lydia, and Euodia why it won’t work.
      1. Then explain to Jesus why it won’t work.
      2. Then explain to me how what we have done the last four decades will work.
   4. “David, you are against laws, and reforms, and grassroots movements, and boycotts, and all such things, aren’t you?”
      1. No, I am not.
         1. They each have value.
         2. They each can be a helpful tool.
      2. But every one of those solutions fail when they seduce us to put our faith in ourselves instead of our God.
      3. WE are not the solution; WE are incapable of creating the solution.
      4. The living, active, powerful God is the solution.
         1. Faith in God is the solution.
         2. Dependence on God is the solution.
         3. Allowing God to change our hearts is the solution.
         4. The values of Jesus Christ are the solution.
         5. Repentance is the solution.
   5. The core reason that the shootings in Littleton happened is the absence of God in lives that were controlled by evil.

Prayer: God, help us stop placing our faith in ourselves. Teach us how to repent. Humble us before You.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

It is harvest time. We are harvesting what we have sown and cultivated for decades. The crop is ripe. It is long past time that we begin planting a different crop.

Letting God Teach Me How To Love

Posted by David on April 28, 1999 under Sermons

We Christians commonly experience problems when we think about God. If we listen to us collectively as a church, we don’t talk much about God. We think and talk about God occasionally. We think and talk about Jesus Christ much more often. We think and talk about the church a lot.

Why do we do that? There are a lot of reasons. But consider just one reason. We find the church easy to think and talk about. We find Jesus Christ more complex to think and talk about. We find God extremely complicated to think and talk about.

Like people throughout the ages, we tend to make God a human being–an extraordinary human being, but a human being none the less. Intellectually, we say God is not a human. Yet, when we try to understand God, we tend to think of God as the best and highest of all humans. For example when we think of God’s goodness or God’s love, we tend to limit God’s goodness and love to the goodness and love that we would expect in the ideal person.

But the truth is that God is not human. God’s goodness and love exceed human goodness and love in every consideration.

1. In His goodness, God never stops loving.
   1. God gave Adam and Eve the ideal human existence (Genesis 2).
      1. They abused His kindness and rebelled against His instructions.
      2. But God still loved them.
   2. Generations later, people were so wicked that they never thought one good thought (Genesis 6,7,8).
      1. Their wickedness was so absolute that God could not tolerate their evil.
      2. Yet, God still loved people and began again with Noah and his family.
   3. God made the key promise of human history to Abraham (Genesis 12:1-3).
      1. Abraham made a lot of mistakes.
         1. He had moments of deep doubt.
         2. He lied about Sarah being his wife.
         3. He had a son by Hagar because Sarah insisted that he do so.
      2. But God still loved him.
   4. We could make a long list of the mistakes made by Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph, but God still loved them.
   5. After God delivered the Israelites from Egypt, they were miserable failures in the wilderness.
      1. Their acts of faithlessness far outnumbered their acts of faith.
      2. But God still loved them.
   6. The period of the Israelite judges was one of the lowest points in Jewish history (Judges).
      1. It was a time filled with lawlessness, idolatry, and violence.
      2. But God still loved them.
   7. Conditions became so wicked in the period of the Jewish kings, that once again God could not tolerate the wickedness.
      1. He begged the people to repent and return to Him, and they would not.
      2. He told them the consequences that they would suffer, and still they refused to listen.
      3. He even told them when they passed the critical point of no return; the captivity and exile were inevitable and unavoidable.
      4. And still God loved them.
   8. To me, in a unique manner, the prophet Hosea gives voice to God’s love.
      1. Hosea in stark, honest terms declared Israel’s wickedness and evil.
         1. There was no faithfulness, kindness, or knowledge of God (4:1).
         2. They were liars, murderers, and thieves who committed adultery (4:2).
         3. Their priests did nothing to teach the people about God (4:4-6)
         4. They chased idols and let their daughters practice cultic prostitution (4:11-14).
      2. Listen to the agony that they caused God because He loved (Hosea 11:1-4).
         Hosea 11:1-4 When Israel was a youth I loved him, And out of Egypt I called My son. The more they called them, The more they went from them; They kept sacrificing to the Baals And burning incense to idols. Yet it is I who taught Ephraim to walk, I took them in My arms; But they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love, And I became to them as one who lifts the yoke from their jaws; And I bent down and fed them. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      3. With all they did to grieve God, God still loved them.
2. God’s love is so astounding that it simply refuses to give up.
   1. John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   2. Romans 5:6-8 For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
   3. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
3. We have a problem: we struggle to accept the truth that divine love cannot be confined by the limits of our comprehension.
   1. We either say in words or in our thoughts, “No one can be that loving!”
      1. “No one can be that good, that compassionate, that forgiving, that merciful, that kind, or that generous.”
      2. Our reasoning says that if it cannot exist in a human it simply cannot exist.
      3. No human can be that loving, but God can be and God is.
   2. The greatest single manifestation of God’s love is Jesus Christ.
      1. He fed the people that he knew would turn against him (John 6).
      2. He cleansed people who were the outcasts of society because of their leprosy (Matthew 8:1-4).
      3. He brought the good news about the Savior and God’s kingdom to Sychar by interacting with a Samaritan divorcee who was living in adultery (John 4).
      4. He forgave an immoral woman who washed his feet with her tears (Luke 7:36-50).
      5. He brought salvation to the Zachaeus who was a chief tax collector, a position of greed and dishonesty (Luke 19:1-10).
      6. As he was dying on the cross, he asked God not to hold the people who were responsible for his death accountable (Luke 23:34).
      7. As Jesus died, he forgave a thief who was dying for crimes the thief committed (Luke 23:39-43).
   3. In Matthew 12 Jesus had a major confrontation with the Pharisees, and the end result was that the Pharisees were infuriated.
      1. Jesus left the area.
         1. An enormous group of people followed him, and he healed all of them.
         2. He asked them not to reveal his identity as the Christ.
         3. Matthew wrote Jesus asked this so that a statement made about him by the prophet Isaiah hundreds of years earlier might be fulfilled.
      2. Listen to that statement in Isaiah 42:1-4.
         Isaiah 42:1-4 “Behold, My Servant, whom I uphold; My chosen one in whom My soul delights. I have put My Spirit upon Him; He will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry out or raise His voice, Nor make His voice heard in the street. A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice. He will not be disheartened or crushed Until He has established justice in the earth; And the coastlands will wait expectantly for His law.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. Focus on verse 3: “A bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not extinguish.”
         2. Measuring rods were made from the reeds that grew along the river banks.
            1. They cost nothing.
            2. Pull one, cut it to the right length, and use it; but if you bend it, break it and throw it away.
         3. When you blew the lamp flame out, a wick would have one small ember that glowed from which a wisp of smoke arose.
            1. You could easily put it out by pinching it between your fingers.
            2. That glow was very delicate and did not last long.
         4. God’s love shown in Jesus will not throw away a broken nobody who is worth nothing.
         5. God’s love shown in Jesus will not kill a glowing ember that is almost out.
      3. That is how much God loves.
         1. God’s love is not in question.
         2. The question is, have we let God teach us how to love like He does?
4. God saves broken people, and God uses broken people to accomplish His purposes.
   1. “Why would God do that?”
      1. That is an excellent question! We must understand the answer.
      2. God works through broken people who believe on Him to make it clear that the power lies in God, not in people.
   2. That focuses our attention on a problem that Christians need to address.
      1. Too few Christians have experienced brokenness.
      2. Because too few have experienced brokenness, too few have repented.
      3. We extol the value of what we define to be goodness.
         1. That definition of goodness excludes the possibility of brokenness.
         2. If we are broken, we are broken by evil.
         3. So we feel the need to deny our problems so that we can demonstrate our goodness.
         4. Why? Because we think that God loves good people.
         5. We convinced ourselves that we are saved because we are good.
      4. We need an understanding of Jesus’ statement, “I desire compassion and not sacrifice, for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:13).
   3. Christians who do not experience brokenness do not discover gratitude for their salvation.
      1. Salvation becomes an intellectual understanding instead of an actual deliverance.
      2. Salvation is a product of human knowledge, reasoning, and intelligence, not the action of a compassionate, loving God who by His power cleansed us in the innocent blood of His Son.
      3. Salvation becomes a human achievement, not a resurrection to life by the power of God.

Until we experience God’s love, until we let God to teach us how to love, we will never serve the eternal purposes of the eternal God who John says is love (1 John 4:8).