Authority: The Difference Between God and Man

Posted by on July 18, 1999 under Bulletin Articles

What is your immediate thought when you hear the word “authority”? Being human, you likely think “control.” Humans equate authority with control. Human possession of authority equals control. One controls because he or she has authority. Humans give the right to control by granting authority. Simply consider human authority figures: the military officer, the law enforcement officer, the C.E.O., the university chancellor, etc. To humans, authority equals the right of control.

Among humans, how one acquires authority is secondary to possessing authority. Regardless of how authority was acquired, it still conveys the right to control. You may seize it. You may be given it. You may win it. You may inherit it. You may acquire it by deceit. Regardless of how it is acquired, authority equals control: in the political world, in the business world, in world of education, in the church.

Thus we are accustomed to humans in authority who are less than honorable, less than honest, less than ethical, less than moral, and less than upright. We are accustomed to character “not mattering.” Even if he or she is not honorable, the person still possesses the authority, still exercises the control. Authority equals control. Authority has little to do with who or what you are as a person.

Not so with God. Is God the ultimate authority? The ultimate authority is the sovereign God. Is everything under the sovereign God’s control? Without question. Evil says differently, but evil asks you to consider only immediate circumstances and the short-term future, never the eternal. In terms we relate to, “Victory is not achieved by half-time scores, or scores after nine holes, or scores at the top of the ninth.”

We assume that God is in control because God has the authority. We assume that authority gives God control. Why? Because that is the reality of the human world. Our assumptions are false. God’s authority is based on His character. And so is His control. God is worthy to have all authority. God is worthy to be in control. He is the true One who keeps every promise. He is the righteous One filled with mercy. He is the just One who forgives. He is absolute purity and holiness. He is worthy.

Those who see God upon His throne fall before Him in awe. Because of His authority? His control? NO!!! Because of His worthiness!!! Read Isaiah 6:1-7 and Revelation 4. Heaven is filled with His glory because He is worthy.

How Do You Look At the World?

Posted by on July 11, 1999 under Sermons

Revelation 1:4-6 John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace, from Him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven Spirits who are before His throne, and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood– and He has made us to be a kingdom, priests to His God and Father–to Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

In the early 1900’s, members of the Churches of Christ looked at the world from a common perspective. Most of the members and most of the congregations were rural. In fact, in America, Churches of Christ began and spread as a rural movement. The church basically looked at the world through the eyes of a farmer. This world view was simple. It was close to nature. It incorporated hard, honest, physical work. Existence was a family endeavor. Families lived on the same land generation after generation. That was the way the world was intended to be. That was God’s way.

This view became the church’s accepted view of the world. What we taught and the way we approached life appealed to people who saw the world like we did. We had little contact with and little influence on people who looked at the world differently.

But that was not a problem then. Rural churches existed in rural isolation where little ever changed. Families lived in the same area for generations. In rural isolation, It was an effective approach to life.

When agriculture declined, family farms began to disappear. Grown children looked for work in towns and cities. Then their adult children went to college. Then their adult children pursued opportunity any place any where.

At first, careers had some basic things in common. You did on the job training. You learned the skills you needed. And you were basically set for life because many jobs were lifetime jobs. You bought a house, settled down, reared a family, and eventually retired. It was stable, predictable, and routine. And we did not need to change our view of the world.

  1. Many of us sitting here do not remember those times; many of us do.
    1. Help me illustrate the change. (All you need to do is raise your hand. Don’t hold your hand up until I ask, but hold it up long enough for others to see).
      1. I’ll ask just three questions.
        1. How many of your expect Fort Smith to be your home for the rest of your life? Hold you hand up, and look around. Thank you!
        2. How many of you expect to retire in your current job? Hold you hand up, and look around. Thank you!
        3. How many of you expect Fort Smith to be just one of the stops you make on the journey of life? Hold your hand up, and look around. Thank you!
      2. Most of you do not expect to retire in your current job, and most of you do not expect to live in Fort Smith the rest of your life.
        1. How do you think members of a rural congregation would have answered those questions fifty years ago?
        2. The transition from rural life to urban life changed the way we look at the world.
    2. Consider just jobs.
      1. The typical person in today’s work force will change careers (not jobs) four times in his or her work life.
      2. The growing reality is this: a job can take you anywhere.
        1. Recently a company paid one of my sons to come to California to convince workers in a plant that was closing to move to another company plant in Camden, Arkansas.
        2. In this era of downsizing, reorganizing, consolidating, and disappearing markets, jobs take people everywhere.
        3. One of our members commutes by plane within the country every week, and another member commutes by plane overseas frequently.
      3. What is this reality doing to us?
        1. It produces a different kind of needs.
        2. It produces a different kind of problems.
        3. It produces many different ways to look at the world.
  2. I want to share with you some of the different ways that we, within this congregation, look at the world. (I am talking about us, in this assembly, right this moment.)
    1. Some of us look at the world with some form of the “God is in control” view.
      1. There are several, but consider just two forms of the “God is in control” view.
      2. View one: the world chooses to be extremely wicked.
        1. God is angry and deeply offended by all this wickedness.
        2. God is primarily a God of wrath and justice.
        3. God will take vengeance; He will punish the world for its wickedness.
        4. The world should live in terror of God.
      3. View two: the world has been deceived and enslaved by Satan.
        1. God wants to rescue everyone who has been deceived and enslaved.
        2. God uses Jesus’ grace and mercy to rescue the deceived and enslaved.
        3. The purpose of salvation is to rescue people.
        4. The world should find hope in Jesus Christ.
    2. Some of us look at the world with the “God wants me to be happy” view.
      1. God wants me to be happy.
      2. God is for anything that makes me happy.
      3. When I know what will make me happy, God wants me to do it or to have it.
      4. God’s purpose for me on earth is to be happy.
    3. Some of us look at the world with the “God exists, but God is not in control” view.
      1. Evil controls this world, and obviously evil is defeating righteousness.
      2. God cannot change things; and He certainly cannot change them in my life.
      3. Church talk, church rules, and church principles do not work in the real world.
      4. I worship to put me in a more favorable position with God when I die–God rules that world, but He cannot do anything about this world.
    4. Some of us have the “God is not the origin of life or people” view.
      1. Life is an accident, people are the result of pure chance, and human life has no purpose beyond earth.
      2. Life is at the mercy of turmoil and suffering.
      3. We need to find ways to escape distress and suffering, and we should experience pleasure every way possible.
      4. Life is depressing; it is full of rejection, betrayal, and disappointment.
      5. There is nothing after death.
    5. Each of those views is held right now by someone sitting here.
      1. And I am supposed to preach sermons that are relevant and life-changing to each one of you regardless of your view of life.
      2. And I am supposed to do it in a way that lets many of you continue to think that everyone here sees the world just like you do.
      3. And every sermon ideally should be only twenty-five minutes long.
      4. And no matter how you look at God, or life, or the world, every sermon should have obvious meaning and value to you.
  3. Too much of the time what we do in our assemblies is not designed to “connect” the real, every day lives of people with God.
    1. We do not know what to do when people do not look at the world alike.
      1. Preachers do not.
      2. Leaders do not.
      3. Teachers do not.
      4. Opinion leaders do not.
      5. The core group does not.
      6. Increasingly, we struggle because we all do not look at the world alike.
    2. A typical congregation rarely makes a significant “connection” with the lives of people who attend.
      1. Every typical congregation has many struggling Christians.
        1. Lost jobs, terrible debt, troubled marriages, sickness, death, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, pornography, abusive relationships, unmarried pregnancy, abortion, anger, violence, drug addictions, alcoholism, and a long list of similar things constantly torment struggling Christians.
        2. So they find the motivation to “attend church” one-and-a-half to two-and-a-half hours on Sunday morning, mostly sit and listen, and then go away to struggle alone for six days and twenty-one hours.
      2. To me it is obvious that the design and intention of the New Testament letters was to connect the every day lives of Christians to God and teach them how to look at the world.
        1. For example, read the letters that Paul or Peter or John wrote.
        2. Look at how frequently they wrote about the common, every day problems of Christians: sexual sins, anger, jealousy, envy, greed, lying, idolatry, drunkenness, and such like things.
        3. Notice how rarely they stomped on Christians for their behavior.
        4. Notice how they consistently challenged them to let God, Christ, and the Spirit teach them how to look at themselves and the world differently.
        5. When God taught them how to look at the world, they became kind, gentle, patient, forbearing, forgiving, merciful, honest, truthful, and helpful.
  4. “David, where ever did you get that idea?” From the New Testament.
    1. See it for yourself.
      1. Paul visited Athens and spoke to the elite leaders of Greek idolatry and philosophy
      2. He tried to connect their view of the world with the living God.
    2. Acts 17:24-31 The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’ Being then the children of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and thought of man. Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

[Prayer: God, open our eyes, and help us see the world as you do.]

“David, how a person looks at the world does not matter!” Really? I wonder how Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris looked at the world before they walked in Columbine High School. I wonder how Benjamin Smith looked at the world before he began shooting people last weekend.”

How YOU look at the world matters. If you are serious about changing your life, if you are serious about letting God help you with your struggles, you must change the way that you look at the world. You must allow God, Christ, and the Spirit to teach you how to see life and the world from the eyes of heaven.

Our God Of Transition

Posted by on under Bulletin Articles

First century congregation. Converted idol worshipper: I will never be part of a congregation that has Jewish Christians! They think they are so smart, and we are so stupid! They are know-it-all control freaks! Everything is their way or no way!

Converted Jew: I will never be part of a congregation that has converted idol worshippers! Their concept of God is ‘weird’! Their ignorance of scripture is unbelievable! You see it in their lives, in their marriages, and in their families! Their concepts of right and wrong are ridiculous!

Neither realized that God wants every kind of people in His church. They thought the church existed to please them and make them spiritually “comfortable.”

At the close of the 20th century. I hate change! Everything is in transition! All I want is to be with people who are like me! If I could find people like me, we would bond together and ignore transition and change. All God wants are people like me!

The church should be composed of people like me. If people thought like I think, did things my way, had my values, had my priorities, saw life like I see it, defined good and bad as I do, defined right and wrong as I do, everything would be simple. And comfortable. And easy. And if anyone wanted to be a part of the church, they would have to change to be like us. After all, God doesn’t love people with problems! God doesn’t want troubled, unstable people in the church!

And with whom would you cry when an unmarried granddaughter was pregnant? And with whom would you pray with when your son left his family? And who would comfort you when your wife died? And who would quietly put an arm on your shoulder and pray when your five-year-old had leukemia? And who would listen as you grieved over your husband’s alcoholism? And where would you go for support when you discovered your son’s sexual addictions? And who would help you fight your anger? And where would you go when you were the struggling person?

God-directed thinking for the 21st century. Because transitions alarm us, fears and reactions easily control us. Our simplest response to transition is: “I will not …” From Noah, to Abraham, to Moses, to Samuel, to David, to the prophets, to Jesus, to Peter, to Paul, to you, God achieves His purposes through transition. God cannot use people who react to transition with, “I will not … ” From Noah to you, God uses those who say, “I will do anything that allows God to use me to accomplish His purposes now.”

Getting It Together

Posted by on July 4, 1999 under Sermons

Please help me introduce our thoughts this evening. The help I need is painless. All I need is for you to answer a few questions by raising your hand. The questions are so simple that your initial response will be that they are stupid. Trust me. The importance of the questions will become obvious.

Question one: how many of you know your name? Excellent! That is 100%!

Question two: how many of your know where you live? Great!

Question three: how many of you who have a telephone know your telephone number? Wonderful!

The last two are a little more difficult, but not hard.

Question four: how many of you know your abilities, your talents?

Question five: how many of you know ways you want to serve as a Christian?

  1. Consider some scriptures from Acts that talk about the very first Christian congregation to exist, the church in Jerusalem.
    1. The scriptures in Acts:
      1. Acts 2:40,41, And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying, “Be saved from this perverse generation!” So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. Note that this congregation began with 3000 new converts.
        2. They had 3000 new converts the very first day of their existence!
      2. Acts 2:47, … praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. Every day God increased the number of Christians in that congregation.
        2. Every single day it was growing numerically.
      3. Acts 4:4, But many of those who had heard the message believed; and the number of the men came to be about five thousand. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. This interest was produced when the lame man was healed at the temple and Peter and John were arrested.
        2. The number of men in the congregation were now 5000.
      4. Acts 5:12-14, At the hands of the apostles many signs and wonders were taking place among the people; and they were all with one accord in Solomon’s portico. But none of the rest dared to associate with them; however, the people held them in high esteem. And all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women, were constantly added to their number, (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. Ananias and Saphira died sudden deaths because Satan filled their hearts and motivated them to lie to the Holy Spirit.
        2. As a result converts increased, not decreased.
        3. Multitudes of men and women were constantly added to their number.
      5. Acts 6:7, The word of God kept on spreading; and the number of the disciples continued to increase greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were becoming obedient to the faith. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. This statement is made after the congregation faced its first major crisis that could have produced a major split.
        2. The way the crisis was handled produced the opposite affect.
        3. Not only did the number of disciples greatly increase, but many of the priests were obedient to Christ.
    2. How big was this first congregation? I have no idea. After we passed 5000 men converts, terms like “multitudes” and “great numbers” are used.
      1. I do not care whose standards you use, this congregation was enormous.
      2. Now I want you to note what this enormous congregation did when they faced their first major crisis.
        Acts 6:1,2, Now at this time while the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint arose on the part of the Hellenistic Jews against the native Hebrews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily serving of food. So the twelve summoned the congregation of the disciples and said, “It is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. In this enormous congregation, the widows who were not native to Palestine did not receive the food they needed.
        2. Can you imagine establishing and overseeing an internal benevolent program in a congregation of this size with their needs?
        3. To deal with this serious crisis, the twelve apostles summoned the congregation.
      3. Note what happened when this huge congregation faced a second major crisis.
        Acts 15:4,12,22, When they arrived at Jerusalem, they were received by the church and the apostles and the elders, and they reported all that God had done with them.
        12 All the people kept silent, and they were listening to Barnabas and Paul as they were relating what signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.
        22 Then it seemed good to the apostles and the elders, with the whole church, to choose men from among them to send to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas–Judas called Barsabbas, and Silas, leading men among the brethren, (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. The crisis: should non-Jewish converts be required to be circumcised before they were baptized? Did they have to comply with Jewish law before they became Christians?
        2. When Paul and Barnabas traveled to the Jerusalem church to discuss this urgent question, the congregation, and the apostles, and the elders received them.
        3. The congregation listened to the discussion of the apostles, elders, and principle opinion leaders .
        4. The whole church agreed with the apostles and elders that it was a good idea to send personal representatives from the Jerusalem congregation to verify their controversial decision.
      4. Years later, after the Jerusalem persecution, this congregation was still huge.
        Acts 21:20, And when they heard it they began glorifying God; and they said to him, “You see, brother, how many thousands there are among the Jews of those who have believed, and they are all zealous for the Law; (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
        1. Its membership still numbered in the thousands.
    3. How did a huge congregation at that time function so effectively?
      1. I have no idea; I just know that they did, and they did very successfully.
      2. And they did without:
        1. A church building.
        2. Mail.
        3. A telephone.
        4. A fax machine.
        5. Computer.
        6. E-mail.
        7. Typewriters.
        8. Paper.
        9. Bibles.
        10. Bulletins.
        11. Printed information.
        12. Or automobiles.
      3. I cannot imagine addressing their needs, nurturing new converts, evangelizing, and caring for essential matters in a congregation that size without those things.
      4. I have no idea about how they functioned, interacted, maintained themselves, assimilated new converts, or coordinated serving.
      5. I do not even comprehend how leadership functioned in those circumstances.
  2. With a huge church building, mail, telephones, fax, computers, e-mail, typewriters, offset printing press, paper, bulletin, printed information, Bibles, and automobiles, we could not do what they did.
    1. We could not assimilate into this congregation, nurture, and coordinate the essentials if twenty-five new converts a week were added to West-Ark.
      1. We could open the doors and preach, but we could not take care of them.
      2. Our current methods and forms of leadership could not handle it.
      3. Our current methods and forms of fellowship could not handle it.
      4. Our current methods and forms of teaching could not handle it.
      5. Our current methods and forms of nurturing could not handle it.
      6. Our current methods and forms of serving could not handle it.
      7. Do you doubt me?
        1. If twenty-five new members became a part of this congregation each week, we would double in number in less than 6 months.
        2. In one year we would have almost 1500 members not counting children and visitors.
        3. Do you have any idea of what that would mean?
    2. “Yes, we would have trouble seating people in worship.”
      1. Our assembly challenges would be minor compared the challenges we faced in being a living, interactive, serving community of Christians.
      2. There is not one thing we currently have in place that would be adequate for such growth.
      3. There is not one fellowship method, teaching method, interacting method, nurturing method, or serving method that would be adequate for such growth.
      4. Yet, the very first congregation was adequate for that kind of growth.
  3. We do not know all of our inadequacies, but we do know several of them.
    1. In the immediate future we will begin building a better data base and better methods of communicating and coordinating.
      1. That begins with very simple things.
      2. It begins with names, addresses, telephone numbers, abilities, interests, and desires to serve.
      3. It begins with your name, address, telephone number, and interests.
    2. We will urgently need your help; please help us become a growing, serving, interacting congregation.

Question: why should the Lord entrust us with more believers if we are not prepared to take care of them? Acts 2:47 And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

“Answers” That Produce No “Solutions”

Posted by on under Sermons

In 1953 Joseph Stalin died. Shortly after Stalin’s death, Nikita Krushchev became the Premier of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. That was before many of you were born. Some of us remember those times well.

Nikita Krushchev was the Premier of the Soviet Union for 11 years. When he became premier, the Cold war between the Soviet Union and the United States began. A number of significant things happened as Krushchev controlled the Soviet Union. Within the Soviet Union, he began the process of removing the memories of Stalin and his influence. He also began promoting the development of technology and the Soviet Union’s global military presence.

These are among Krushchev’s notable world accomplishments. (1) He ordered the building of the Berlin Wall to control defections to the West. I still remember the pictures of the wall being built.

(2) He crushed a revolt in Hungary by sending in Soviet tanks and troops. I still remember the pictures of Hungarians attacking tanks with rocks.

(3) In 1959 he visited the United States. It was a strained visit. In a United Nations assembly, while sitting at a desk and making a speech he took a shoe off and beat on the desk. He said, “We will bury you.” Later, in a visit to Los Angeles, his anger almost caused a major incident. He was angry at a statement the Mayor made, and he was angry because he was refused a visit to Disneyland.

(4) Also in 1959 he and Richard Nixon had a confrontation in Moscow at the American National Exhibit. He declared Russian technology would soon pass American technology. He said, “When we pass you, we will wave to you.” At the exposition, Ampex was demonstrating the first video recorder and captured their argument on video tape.

(5) In 1962 he placed missiles with atomic warheads in Cuba. His actions literally brought the world within minutes of an atomic war between the Soviet Union and the United States. I remember those days very well. I was living in Tallahassee, Florida.

  1. In 1964 Nikita Krushchev was deposed as Premier, and he became the first premier of the Soviet Union who did not die in office.
    1. He immediately became a “non-person” in the Soviet Union; it was a crime to even mention his name.
    2. In the thirty-five years that have followed:
      1. The Berlin wall has been torn down and Germany has been reunited.
      2. The Soviet Union has collapsed and no longer exists.
      3. Most of the satellite countries that were under the absolute control of the Soviet Union are now independent.
      4. Soviet technology did not surpass American technology, and today Russian technology is severely distressed by a lack of funds.
    3. To me, the most astounding develop of all is this: his 64-year-old son, Sergei Krushchev, lives in the United States and is applying for American citizenship.
  2. When the Soviet Union collapsed, many of us who lived through the time of the Cold War could not believe the Soviet Union no longer existed.
    1. The greatest, constant, serious dangers we faced in our teens and early adult life were the dangers generated by the Cold War.
      1. When the Soviet Union collapsed, some of us thought, “This is the beginning of a new world.”
        1. “The major threat of nuclear war is over.”
        2. “The arms race cannot be resurrected as a global concern.”
        3. “The threat of the world being controlled by communism is over.”
        4. “The world will be a much more peaceful place.”
      2. Some of us assumed that the introduction of democracy and Western style economics in Russia would transform Russia as we watched.
    2. Russian was not transformed before our eyes. Instead:
      1. Worsening poverty engulfed the population, poverty worse than anything we have known.
      2. An immense personal struggle began for the majority of the Russian people: no hope, nowhere to turn, no opportunity, nothing to believe in.
      3. An enormous escalation of crime; when the authoritarian control of the police ceased, the crime rate soared
      4. Immediately they became a society without direction or anchors.
      5. Immediately they experienced deep disillusionment.
        1. The people were consistently told that as bad as things were in the Soviet Union, things were worse in the Western world.
        2. The people were told that the only real answer to all their problems was communism.
        3. They placed their trust in those statements.
        4. When both proved to be false what were they to trust?
  3. Atheistic communism systematically removed religious influence from Soviet society.
    1. Church buildings were devoted to nonreligious purposes.
    2. A concerted effort was made to remove all religious words from their vocabulary.
      1. In the early 1990s I had opportunity to lecture to an Institute in Kaliningrad.
      2. The English department invited me to lecture on religious subjects, but I had to lecture in English.
      3. Each day for three days I was allowed to speak once or twice in their largest lecture hall.
      4. I taught about Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Matthew 5,6,7 to illustrate how that Jesus’ teachings would benefit any society.
      5. The head of the English department was my translator.
        1. It was not unusual for her to stop and explain that they had no word to translate what I was saying.
        2. For example, the word “heart” had only one meaning, the physical organ that pumps blood.
        3. They had never heard the English word “divine.”
  4. Since the Soviet Union collapsed, conditions are worse for the Russian people.
    1. Conditions are worse in almost every context.
      1. Society is less stable.
      2. The state provided everything from a job to a home, to energy in a home to retirement; it is very difficult to relearn how to live in a society where the state does not provide for your needs.
      3. Their money has almost no value.
      4. The pensions of the elderly are not enough to sustain life.
      5. The crime rate and the nature of the crimes is unbelievable.
      6. Greed and graft rule and control.
    2. Why? How could a people move from a system of atheistic communism to democracy and things get worse?
      1. Many significant reasons produced that result.
      2. May I cite one significant reason that most Americans never think about.
      3. When a society moves from atheistic communism to godless democracy, there is no progress.
    3. We Americans are deceived about the freedoms provided by our democratic existence.
      1. We think that the primary answer to the world’s problems are the rights and freedoms provided by a democratic society.
      2. But again and again we watch as democracy fails to work in other nations that leave a dictator’s control or a communistic philosophy.
      3. We watch as such transitions often create new problems and instability.
      4. We watch as situations get worse and the suffering of the people increases.
    4. No matter how often this happens, we fail to see the obvious.
      1. Democracy works to the benefit and blessing of a society only when the people have unselfish values and moral principles that:
        1. Respect the dignity of the person.
        2. Value human life.
        3. Accept the worth and significance of the individual.
        4. Believe “I exist for purposes that go beyond self-interest and selfishness.”
        5. Believe honesty and integrity are the responsibilities of every individual.
      2. What will transform a people into that kind of society?
        1. Religion?
          1. No!
          2. Some of the most horrible acts our world has experienced were committed in devotion to religion.
        2. Faith in the living God who loved us enough to give us a Savior will transform any people into that kind of society.
          1. The living God teaches us the value of the person.
          2. The living God teaches us mercy and forgiveness.
          3. The living God teaches us unselfishness.
          4. The living God teaches us to be servants.
          5. The teachings of the living God empower the principles of democracy.
        3. Systematically remove the influence and teachings of the living God from a people, and democracy will not work in that society.
          1. People will sell recreational drugs to people to make money with no concern about what this does to persons, to families, or to society.
          2. People use people for selfish, sexual gratification with no concern about what it does to the persons, to families, or to society.
          3. People in their greed to exploit people for the love of money with no concern about what happens to the persons, to families or to society.
          4. People make victims out of people through crimes of every kind with no concern about what it does to persons, to families, or to society.
        4. Democracy works only in societies where responsible people of integrity value people.
        5. Democracy cannot work in societies where irresponsible people exploit others to achieve their own selfish objectives.
        6. Remove God from society, and you destroy society’s ability to be a successful democracy.

Ephesians 4:25-32 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)

People who trust the living God and give their lives to the Savior He sent seek to become that kind of people. That transforms the society because it transforms the people.

[Prayer to become increasingly godly people.]

Is the godliness of our society increased because of you?

The “Information” Challenge

Posted by on under Bulletin Articles

What is required to be “successful” as a congregation? That is an unanswerable question. It is much too broad. Before an answer can be attempted, two other questions must be asked and answered.

What is the definition of “success?” Favorable attendance statistics? Baptisms? People placing membership? Ministries functioning? Activities occurring at the building? Activities occurring in the home? Facilities available? Utilization of facilities? Utilization of congregational resources? Utilization of member resources? Transformation of individual lives? Biblical positions assumed? Struggling people helped? Marriages saved? Marriages strengthened? Families equipped and strengthened? Families preserved? Teens helped? Divorced persons helped and guided? Single parent families sustained? Single adults helped and utilized? Benevolent work in the congregation? Benevolent work in the community? Benevolent work in the world? Interaction within the congregation? Interaction within the community? Internal image of the congregation? External image of the congregation? Equipping people to serve? Quality of the preaching? Quality of the classes? Quality of the leadership? Percentage of the membership serving and involved? Preparation for the future?

What is the congregation’s basic objective? In what specific ways is that objective God centered? Christ centered? Spirit centered? mercy centered? forgiveness centered? service centered? people centered? freedom centered? eternity centered?

Considering only these matters, the essential link between being an informed and being a successful congregation is obvious. An informed congregation is composed of informed individuals. That means an informed “us” depends on an informed “me.”

Raising the awareness level of its members is an enormous challenge in any active congregation. For the staff and leaders, the challenge is (a) providing the information and (b) getting your attention. For members, the challenge is (a) caring and (b) staying informed.

Sunday evenings in July will be devoted to increasing awareness. The 4th: “Getting it Together.” The 11th: the Guyana report. The 18th: VBS 1999, which begins the next day. The 25th: C.U.R.E. presents a fifteen minute overview of 1999 projects.

The “Point System” Marriage

Posted by on June 27, 1999 under Sermons

[This lesson will be introduced by a video presentation entitled, The Ledger People. Running time: 7 minutes 17 seconds.]

What makes marriage successful? The popular answer to that question is a “no brainer.” In fact, the popular answer to that question is the same in virtually all generations. If we divided everyone into decades–teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, etc., I would expect the popular answer to be the same in every age group.

What makes marriage successful? LOVE!

  1. I have a question, a rather important question.
    1. The greater majority of people who marry each other in Western culture marry because they love.
      1. They are so convinced that love exists that you would seriously insult them if you suggested that their love did not exist.
        1. I can imagine the reaction of a couple working with me in premarital counseling if I suggested that they did not love each other.
        2. Talking about someone being indignant and offended!
      2. Yet, as certain as the greater majority are of their love, almost one in two of all couples who marry for the first time divorce.
        1. Of those who do not divorce, a significant percentage are miserable in their marriage.
        2. In marriages that do not divorce, more are unsuccessful than are successful.
    2. How do you explain this situation?
      1. If the majority of couples who marry are totally convinced at the time of marriage that they love each other,
      2. If almost fifty per cent of those who marry divorce,
      3. If the majority of those who never divorce have unsuccessful marriages,
      4. How can the key to successful marriage be love?
    3. “They thought they loved each other, but they really did not love each other.”
      1. Assumption: all divorces occur because of the absence of love.
      2. Conclusion: all people who divorce never loved each other.
      3. I have known divorced people who continued to love each other.
        1. They love each other.
        2. They have deep feelings for each other.
        3. They just cannot live with each other; it does not work.
      4. Many things other than a lack of love can cause a marriage to fail.
  2. A suggestion: if mutual love is healthy, maturing, and responsible, marriage will be successful.
    1. The real question: what allows mutual love to be healthy, mature, and responsible?
      1. There are many factors involved in love being healthy, mature, and responsible.
      2. Consider two key factors.
        1. A healthy, mature, responsible love has the courage to be vulnerable because it is rooted in and nourished by trust.
          1. “I give you my heart because I trust you not to break it.”
          2. “I give you my emotions because I trust you not to trash them.”
          3. “I give you my confidence because I trust you to be fair with me.”
          4. “Because I trust, I know you won’t hurt me.”
          5. “Therefore, I am not afraid to be vulnerable with you.”
        2. A healthy, mature, responsible love expresses itself in unselfish devotion.
          1. “You matter to me.”
          2. “Your happiness matters to me.”
          3. “Your will being matters to me.”
          4. “Your joy and contentment matter to me.”
          5. “You matter so much to me that I will not knowingly make you unhappy, put you at risk, or destroy your joy and contentment.”
          6. “You are so important to me that I will not hesitate to make sacrifices for you.”
  3. A marriage that chooses to function on the “point system” or the “ledger system” opposes the health, maturity, and responsible nature of love.
    1. What is the “point system” or the “ledger system?”
      1. It is a system that determines what happens in your marriage, when it happens, and to whom it happens.
        1. “I get my way this time; you get your way next time.”
        2. “We must be very careful to take turns about everything every time, and we keep very careful records about whose turn it is.”
        3. “We always keep track of who owes whom what.”
    2. Why does the point system or ledger system work against the health, maturity, and responsibility of love?
      1. First, it works against healthy, mature, responsible love by declaring:
        1. “I do not trust you to take care of me; I must take care of me.”
        2. “I am so focused on taking care of me and making certain that you are fair to me that I am rarely focused on you.”
        3. “I must protect myself; I must force you to be fair to me.”
        4. “My mother (or my father) was really hurt in her (his) marriage, and I will never let you hurt me.”
        5. “I do not have confidence in you; I really don’t believe that you know how to take care of me or want to take care of me.”
        6. This approach to marriage proceeds on an insecure foundation of self-centered thinking.
      2. Second, it works against love because men and women are different.
        1. “Duh! That is a brilliant observation!”
        2. The differences between men and women go far beyond sexuality and physical makeup.
          1. There are significant emotional differences.
          2. There are significant differences in perspectives.
          3. There are significant differences in their approach to life.
          4. Such differences do not make one superior to the other.
      3. I have no desire to build or promote stereotypes, but in speaking in this context it is necessary to deal with generalities. I readily acknowledge that there are exceptions. But, for the sake of illustration, let me cite two things.
        1. Illustration one: shopping.
          1. Telephone rings, husband answers, his wife’s friend asks for her, his reply: “She’s gone shopping.” Interpretation: I don’t know when she will be home.
          2. Telephone rings, wife answers, her husband’s friend asks for him, her reply, “He has gone to buy something.” Interpretation: call back in thirty minutes.
          3. Women shop; men buy; women search before they buy; men just buy.
          4. We husbands should be eternally grateful they do.
          5. If they did not, the economy would collapse, there would be no Christmas and birthday presents, and we men would wear the same thing every day.
        2. Decision making.
          1. Men solve problems; they consider only facts; they reach decisions privately with what they consider to be logic.
          2. Women are intuitive; considerations other than facts are as important as facts; they reach conclusions by talking about it.
      4. So what? So men and women are different. What does that have to do with the point or ledger system?
        1. They will never be perceived as fair by both husband and wife.
        2. Men and women’s definition of “fair” is different.
        3. Men and women’s definition of “big matters” and “little matters” is different.
        4. Men and women’s definition of “important matters” and “unimportant matters” are different.
      5. Any such system will do three things.
        1. At times it will make each of them feel exploited.
        2. At times it will depersonalize each of them.
        3. Many times it will make both of them feel like they are losing.

When marriage becomes a win/lose situation, everybody loses.

The Most Difficult Thing God Asks Us To Do

Posted by on under Sermons

The most difficult thing God asks us to do is to love. “David, that is an absolutely ridiculous statement! There are many, many things God asks us to do that are far more difficult than loving. One of the easiest things on earth to do is to love!”

Oh…it is? I am sorry. I did not realize how easy it is to love.

  1. Consider how simple it is to love by considering the easiest people to love.
    1. First, consider the words of love.
      1. Since it is simple to love, how often do you tell the individual members of your family that you love them?
        1. Do you tell your wife every day that you love her?
        2. Do you tell your husband every day that you love him?
        3. Do you tell each of your children at home every day that you love them?
        4. Children at home, do you tell Mom and Dad every day that you love them?
      2. Oh, I feel certain that everyone one of us tell every family member every day, “I love you,” because it is such an easy thing to do, and we are only talking about using words.
    2. Second, how often do you tell your husband, your wife, each of your children, your Mom, or your Dad in specifics why you love him or her?
      1. If I asked you to write down why your husband, wife, child, Mom, or Dad said that you were loved, could you do it?
        1. Wives, could you write down three reasons that your husband told you that he loved you?
        2. Husbands, could you write down three reasons that your wife told you that she loved you?
        3. Children, could you write down three reasons that your Mom and Dad told you that he or she loved you?
        4. Moms and Dads, could you write down three reasons that your children told you that they loved you?
      2. I am sure that each of us could do that because love is so easy, and we are only talking about being truthful with the people that we love.
    3. Third, if I asked each family member to write down three things done for you this month to express love for you, could you do it?
      1. What was done this month to express love for you, wives? husbands? children? Moms? Dads?
      2. And we are only talking about expressing love for the people we should find to be the easiest people to love.
    4. Fourth, do the people living in your household know your deepest feelings for each of them?
      1. A major crises exists in our families because many family members do not feel loved.
      2. Husbands and wives in troubled marriages don’t feel loved; husbands, wives, and children caught in a divorce don’t feel loved; people who live in impersonal families or alienated families or families hiding addictions don’t feel loved.
    5. Question: if loving is so easy, so simple, why do we have so much trouble with love in our families?
  2. “David, David, David, you might have a point about families, but you do not have a point about God. The most difficult thing God asks us to do cannot possibly be to love. It simply has to be something else.” Like what?
    1. “The most difficult thing that God asks us to do must be some act of obedience.”
      1. Of course! You are absolutely right! It must be obedience!
      2. Matthew 22:36-38 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      3. Romans 13:8-10 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
    2. “No, no, no, David! The most difficult thing God asks us to do has to be some sacrifice!”
      1. Oh, I am sorry. Your are right!
      2. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      3. 2 Corinthians 5:14,15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
  3. Why is loving the most difficult thing that God ever asked us to do?
    1. I do not think it is necessary for me to answer that question; I think that you understand all too well why it is so difficult to be a loving person.
      1. As a result of years of working with people, this is my observation: the people who declare that it is easy and simple to love are the people who do not love.
        1. They talk about love.
        2. But they don’t actually do much loving.
      2. Be honest: would you honestly say that one of the easiest, simplest things you to do in your life is to love other people, to feel love for other people, and to express love for other people?
    2. If you are honestly convinced that loving is easy and simple, would you consider the last night of Jesus’ earthly life?
      1. If Jesus knew that all of his disciples would desert him, why did Jesus take them to the garden?
        1. Have you every been deserted? Did you enjoy the experience? Would you knowingly create the experience?
        2. Then why did Jesus do that? Because of love.
      2. If Jesus knew that Peter would deny him three times, what did Jesus take Peter to the actual place he prayed and ask Peter to pray also?
        1. Have you ever been denied by your best friend? Did you enjoy the experience? Would you knowingly create the experience?
        2. Then why did Jesus do it? Because of love.
      3. With all the power and options available to Jesus, why did he surrender to the soldiers when he knew they would kill him?
        1. Would you do that?
        2. Then why did Jesus do that? Because of love.
      4. Why endure the agony of the cross? Because of love.
      5. Why pray for the forgiveness of the mob who rejoiced in his death? Because of love.
      6. Why be kind enough to save a thief who died beside him? Because of love.
    3. “Now, David, put the situation in perspective: Jesus was the son of God.”
      1. And so are you.
      2. And so am I.
  4. Loving is the most difficult thing God asks us to do because all the difficult things God does for us begin with His loving us.
    1. Love breathes grace upon all it touches.
      1. It is good and kind to those who do not deserve goodness and kindness.
      2. We who love share grace for one reason: that is the way God’s love treats us.
    2. Love is an ever flowing fountain of mercy.
      1. You can show mercy only to the people who do not deserve mercy.
      2. We who love show mercy for only one reason: that is the way God’s love treats us.
    3. Love forgives failures and mistakes.
      1. You forgive people who failed you and hurt you.
      2. We forgive for only one reason: that is the way God’s love treats us.
    4. If we remove love from our lives and our motives, we remove God from our lives and our actions.
  5. Among the many problems in the congregation at Corinth were the mean spirited squabbles in their worship assemblies.
    1. Many things that should not be able to exist when Christians gather to worship were there: superiority attitudes, arrogance, jealousy, rivalries, condescending attitudes.
      1. Too many members were full of their own sense of self importance.
      2. Because love did not exist, they grotesquely abused the gifts of the Spirit and the power of God.
    2. 1 Corinthians 12:31b-13:3 And I show you a still more excellent way. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
      1. If I spoke every human language, and I even spoke the language spoken in heaven, but there was no love in me or what I did, it would only be a noise.
      2. If I by divine revelation could teach the truths of God accurately, if I could explain every spiritual mystery (the exact work of the Holy Spirit; exactly where we go when we die; exactly what we will experience when we die; exactly what will happen in the resurrection), if I personally possessed the most powerful faith on earth, but had no love, I am a spiritual nothing.
      3. If I am totally benevolent even to the point of sacrificing my life, and do not have love, there is no spiritual benefit in my benevolence.

[Project this slide on the screen during the conclusion: Matthew 5:46,47 If we love those who love us, we are no different to people who do not believe in God.]

This congregation stands on the brink of the most significant work and growth that it has ever experienced. But no matter what we do, if we are not a people who love and who are motivated by love, nothing we do will mean anything to God. If love does not rule our hearts, our minds, and our emotions, God cannot use us. Satan can, but God can’t. Satan has his greatest successes in the darkness and void where there is no love. God cannot function where there is no love.

That is true in marriage, true in the home, true in the congregation, true in the community, true in the nation, and true in the world.

Perhaps the reason so many people think that it is so easy to love is because we have never truly discovered what love is.

A Parable About God

Posted by on under Bulletin Articles

The parable: Adam and Eve’s rebellion distressed God. They ruined everything! God’s “very good” creation; a sinless environment for human life; a human existence free of fear, shame, anxiety, and pain; the perfect marriage relationship; the ideal companionship–all irreparably ruined by their rebellion!

As human generations passed, God watched in horror as the human condition grew worse because people became increasingly evil. God watched and considered. His distress increased. He knew that He had to rescue people from the despair of evil.

God said, “I know what people need! They need ‘true religion!’ They need a world filled with church buildings! There people can affirm, defend, and argue ‘true religion.’ They can condemn the wicked ‘out there.’ They can condemn the faithless ‘in here.’ Everyone constantly can be reminded of what horrible failures people are. If people assemble in church buildings at least once a week for this experience, the world will be okay. Adam and Eve failed because they did not have ‘true religion.’ If there had been a church building where they discussed ‘true religion’ an hour or so each week, they would not have rebelled. My perfect creation would be intact if Eden had promoted ‘true religion’ in a church building!”

What is your reaction to the parable? Reactions likely run from bewilderment to anger. It deceptively misrepresents God’s concern and intent. It terribly distorts God’s solution. Perhaps most frightening is this: it represents a common Christian concept. Too many think that godliness is produced by going to church buildings and hearing discussions about ‘true religion.’

Adam and Eve’s problem centered in their behavior. Old Testament Israel’s problems primarily centered in their behavior. That was the message of God’s prophets. The Pharisees’ problems centered primarily in their behavior. That is the message of Jesus. The early church experienced numerous problems because of their behavior. That is the message of the epistles.

In each generation, behavior problems exist for two basic reasons. First, people do not trust God. Second, people’s decisions and interactions are governed by godless attitudes. As a result, faithless lives are guided by ungodly attitudes. The consequences: evil behavior curses their lives and assaults their relationships.

Christians must be (1) taught to trust God, (2) challenged to develop Christ-like attitudes, and (3) urged to devote themselves to godly behavior in all relationships. Only then do they oppose Satan. Anything less encourages Satan.

Read James 1:27 and note that it is behavior centered.

The “God Knew What He Was Doing” Marriage

Posted by on June 20, 1999 under Sermons

[This lesson was introduced by a video presentation of a marriage situation entitled One Flesh presented by Paul and Nicole Johnson. Running time: 6 minutes and 45 seconds.]

I believe that God is the origin of all things. I believe that all things began in the ideal state of existence. I believe that our physical and spiritual beings have their origin in God. I believe that we were made in the image of God. I believe that the original design and intent of God was for men and women to experience ideal companionship in an ideal relationship which was to exist in marriage.

Do you believe that? If you say, “Yes,” what do you mean by your “yes?” Do you mean that you believe that as a fact? Or do you mean that you trust that God’s way works in marriage since God is the origin of man, woman, and marriage?

  1. Marriage as intended by God has many objectives.
    1. God’s highest object in marriage is companionship. It was intended to produce:
      1. The greatest form of friendship that could be experienced in human existence.
      2. The most compassionate relationship that could be experienced on earth.
      3. The most caring interaction that two people could ever know.
      4. The most supportive relationship two people could experience.
      5. The most genuine understanding two people would ever find.
      6. The greatest level of trust two people would ever know.
      7. The most genuine commitment that could be experienced.
      8. The most dependable relationship that could exist between two people.
      9. The greatest source of love that could be experienced in human relationships.
      10. The source of the greatest appreciation that a person would ever know.
    2. If marriage existed as God intended, it would be impossible for another person to provide these qualities on the level and to the extent that a husband or wife could provide them for each other.
      1. Why?
      2. No one could possibly know and appreciate you as did your husband or wife.
      3. No one could understand you as did your husband or wife.
      4. No one could value you as did your husband or wife.
  2. “Well, that surely does not describe marriage today–not even among Christians!”
    1. For many people, marriage is the source of enormous misery.
      1. That is not a new reality; that is a ancient reality.
      2. Sometimes when we deplore the instability of marriage today we create the impression that marriage was more successful in past generations and much, much happier.
        1. A few decades ago the divorce rate was much lower in this society.
        2. That is a fact, but the basis of the fact is not that marriages were more successful.
          1. I am confident that older couples here could tell us a lot about misery existing in marriages in the first half of this century.
          2. Abuse, neglect, adultery, and incest are not new.
          3. Individual rights were virtually nonexistent, and no matter how severe circumstances were, there were few options and few places to turn for help.
      3. A significant factor in the rise of the feminist movement in our society was the exploitation of the woman in too many marriages in past generations.
    2. The truth: ideal companionship is rare in marriage.
      1. Marriages in which the husband and wife share the highest quality of:
        1. Friendship
        2. Compassion
        3. Caring
        4. Support
        5. Understanding
        6. Trust
        7. Sensitivity
        8. Reliability
        9. Love
        10. Appreciation
        11. Are the exception.
      2. Why is marriage such a common source of mental, emotional, and physical misery?
        1. Troubled marriages exist for a long list of reasons.
        2. May I suggest four very common reasons.
          1. Reason one: too many of the people marrying do not know how to be a husband or a wife.
            1. They grew up in a divorced home, a seriously dysfunctional home, a seriously troubled home, or a home in which there was little togetherness or interaction.
            2. They were deprived of the opportunity to see a loving, successful marriage relationship as it functioned.
            3. Their concepts of what a husband is to be or what a wife is to be is seriously, dangerously flawed long before they marry.
          2. Reason two: They distrust God’s principles that produce marital companionship.
            1. There are far more homes in which God has no presence at all than there are homes in which God plays an important role.
            2. In the homes where God has a presence, often when these homes are distressed, husbands and wives do not believe that God’s principles work.
          3. Reason three: Too many women and men experience failed expectations in marriage.
            1. “He or she is not what I expected.”
            2. “Being married is not what I expected.”
            3. “I do not feel what I expected to feel in my marriage.”
          4. Reason four: the purposes of marriage are perverted.
            1. The wife believes that the real reason that her husband married her was to take care of domestic responsibilities.
            2. The husband believes that the real reason that his wife married him was to find security.
            3. “You did not marry me because you valued me; you married me because of what I could do for you.”
  3. What are God’s principles that produce superior companionship in marriage?
    1. Before we consider the principles, we need two basic understandings.
      1. No marriage can produce the companionship God intended through the efforts of one person; it must be a joint effort.
      2. There must be a mutual desire to improve the relationship.
    2. The principles:
      1. You love and respect the person to whom you are married as you love and respect yourself (Ephesians 5:33).
      2. You treat your husband or wife as you prefer to be treated (Matthew 7:12).
        1. You forgive as you want to be forgiven.
        2. You show mercy as you want to receive mercy.
        3. You encourage as you wish to be encouraged.
        4. You seek to be as unselfish as you want him or her to be.
      3. You constantly pray for guidance, wisdom, and understanding to develop as the husband or wife you can become.
    3. Do you have confidence in God’s principles?
      1. Successful marriage is very much a faith issue.
        1. Is that surprising?
        2. If God is the origin of the relationship, how can it fail to be a faith issue?
      2. Do you believe that if you are God’s person that God will work in your relationship?
        1. When I say, “Do you believe that?” I specifically mean do you trust that?
        2. Do you trust it enough to act on your trust?

If you want your marriage to constantly grow toward the ideal relationship, there is an attitude that you must not have, and an attitude that you must have. The attitude that you must not have is this: “When you are, I will be.” The attitude that you must have is this: “I will be so that you may become.”

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