Culture and the Church: Sexual Perceptions

Posted by David on January 2, 2000 under Sermons

Last Sunday evening at 8 p.m. a major television network aired The Marriage Fool starring Walter Matthau and Carol Burnett. It is rated PG.

Speaking from the perspective of a counselor, it did many things well. A man’s wife died after many years of marriage. The movie did a better than average job of depicting some of the major adjustments that the man and his children faced after wife and mom died.

After months of being a widower, the man met someone who was interested in him and in whom he was interested. The adjustments now intensify for the whole family. He had to adjust to dating someone without feeling like he was betraying his wife. His children have to adjust to their father dating a woman who was not their mother.

By mutual agreement, she moved in with him months before they definitely decided to marry. The adjustments intensify again for the children.

His unmarried son faced the greatest adjustment problems. He was a perpetual dater who kept a list of the women he dates. He had neither the desire to nor the intention of settling down. Yet, when his father began living with the woman he was dating, it freaked him out. The father and son genuinely loved each other, but they could not talk. They just reacted. And their reactions created a major crisis.

Sexually, the premise of the movie declares three things as fact. None of the three are explained. None of the three are defended. All three are “accepted realities” in the real world of the audience. People in our culture will accept all three as facts of life. Fact one: dating involves the couple being sexually active. Fact two: serious dating includes occasions when the couple spends several days together enjoying carefree sexual intimacy. Fact three: regardless of a couples age, it is perfectly natural to live together for a few months before marriage.

1. Those three facts are commonly assumed in all recreational media.
   1. They are so commonly presented that most of us do not even notice them.
      1. All three are common in popular books.
      2. All three are common in popular movies.
      3. All three are common in popular television programming.
      4. Many popular songs are more explicit about sexual conduct than our popular books, movies, or television.
   2. What is your reaction?
      1. The reaction of some is “that is just entertainment–it really does not happen.” There is a small group that live in such isolation that they think sexual activity outside of marriage is rare.
      2. The reaction of others is “that kind of thing goes on in the world where people are not concerned about God, but it is very rare the church.” The dividing line is between those who believe in God and those who do not.
      3. The reaction of another group is “that is a real view of life everywhere–in the church and out.” This group is quite astounded when they hear others pretending that we do not live in a sexually active society.
   3. The reason that so many books, movies, and television programs accept these three situations as fact is simple: in our culture, they are common.
      1. They are very open facts in our society.
      2. They are fact in the church.
      3. Being sexually active while dating is common; refusing to be sexually active is uncommon.
      4. It is more common for dating adult couples to spend a few days of sexual intimacy together than it is for adult couples to refuse to do that.
      5. It is common for people to live together before marrying.
   4. Why?
      1. Divorce, separation, hostile marriages, seriously dysfunctional marriages, spouse abuse, child abuse, and single parent homes have produced several generations who have few to no relationship skills.
         1. We have an enormous number of people in our society that are starved for relationship.
         2. They are starved for love, but they do not understand what love is.
         3. They have experienced so much rejection that they are starved for acceptance.
         4. They have experienced so much criticism that they are starved for appreciation.
         5. They have experienced so much loneliness that they are starved for a sense of belonging.
      2. Our culture is drowning in its ignorance about relationships.
         1. We do not know how to commitment constructively to another person.
         2. We do not know how to communicate.
         3. We have so much inward pain and insecurity that we either practice denial or control.
         4. We do not know how to accept responsibility in relationship.
         5. We do not know how to solve disagreements without destructive confrontations.
         6. We do not know how to be unselfish; our self-centeredness commonly results in some form of abuse.
         7. We do not know what healthy relationships are.
         8. We do not know how to build healthy relationships.
         9. We do not know how to nurture healthy relationships.
   5. So what happens?
      1. We do not know how to produce love, but we do know how to be sexually active.
         1. Since God’s creative design combined love and sexual intimacy, we substitute sexual intimacy for love.
         2. Being sexually active creates the closest thing to love that we have experienced.
         3. For at least a little while, we feel close, accepted, appreciated, and valued.
         4. So we separate love and sexual intimacy, and we substitute sexual intimacy for love.
      2. The problem: when you separate sexual intimacy from the healthy love that responsibly commits to healthy relationship, you are left with an enormous sense of emptiness.
         1. But we like the pleasure and sense of acceptance that sexual intimacy brings.
         2. So we conclude that the sexual intimacy was on target; our partner was the wrong person.
         3. We find ourselves in that vicious search for love by being sexually active, and the value of the intimacy diminishes as the emptiness increases.
      3. The result: we have an enormous problem with irresponsible sexual attitudes and conduct in our culture, and those attitudes powerfully, successfully invaded the lives of Christians.
2. “David, why do you want to discuss this on Sunday evenings?”
   1. First, I want to discuss this because I am tired.
      1. I am tired of seeing what this problem is doing to so many homes and families.
      2. I am tired of watching what it is doing to our young people while we pretend it is not a significant problem.
      3. I am tired of being limited to dealing with it one person at a time; many of the people we seek to help through counseling might not be in their problem if they had better information years ago.
      4. I am tired of watching the culture fashion everyday ideas and attitudes in the church about sexual intimacy.
      5. I tired of avoiding one of the greatest spiritual crises the church faces because we refuse to honest and openly help people with an every day reality.
   2. Second, I want us to begin to help people.
      1. The gospels make it quite clear that Jesus definitely helped people whose lives were in pain because of sexual problems.
      2. He did not pretend that the problem did not exist.
      3. He was not content to dismiss the problem by condemning it.
      4. If we are serious in our claim to be his church, we must help people.
   3. Third, Sunday evening is the best time to discuss the problems openly and honestly.
      1. After this evening, the children are in the Kids for Christ program.
      2. We can have adult considerations of adult realities that, unfortunately, have become a children reality.
3. I want to state what will not be my approach.
   1. I will not make a list of things that are “evil,” condemn them, and try to force people away from them by using guilt.
      1. Are there things that are evil that deserve to be condemned? Without a doubt!
      2. However, trying to get people to reject them through guilt manipulation is ineffective.
         1. In our culture, many of these things are not defined as evil or considered to be evil.
         2. In the church, many who have been baptized do not define these things as evil or consider them to be evil.
         3. Because I affirm that they are evil and read some scripture will not change their concepts.
      3. I want to make the same point that I have made so many times: I want believers to build godly relationships and reject destructive sexual attitudes and behaviors because of their faith.
         1. My priority concern is not controlling the behavior of Christians.
         2. I do not want Christians to alter their behavior out of fear of venereal diseases; I want them to alter their behavior because of their faith in God.
         3. I do not want Christians to hide their behavior in fear of the church; I want Christians to build their behavior on their faith in God.
         4. Faith behavior will build a living relationship with God.
         5. Faithless behavior, not matter how well controlled, will not build a living relationship with God.
         6. We can spiritually survive in a godless culture only through a living relationship with God.
   2. My approach will be this: I will seek to build an accurate understanding of why sexually irresponsible attitudes and behavior destroy us as persons.
      1. I want to begin by calling your attention to Genesis chapters 1, 2 , and 3.
      2. The first thing I call to your attention is the first recorded commandment in the Bible given to human beings: Genesis 1:27,28.
         Genesis 1:27,28 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. Genesis 1 provides us with the general account of creation; Genesis 2 provides us the specific account of the creation of human relationship.
         2. In the general account, this is obvious to me:
            1. Man and woman were sexual beings from the moment of creation.
            2. Their sexuality was to be a part of their companionship before sin existed.
            3. They were not recreated to be sexual beings after sin existed.
      3. Second I want you to see that sexual intimacy was a part of their companionship from the beginning of the human relationship.
         Genesis 2:21-25 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. The statement, “They shall become one flesh,” is a specific reference to sexual intimacy.
         2. They were to be helpful companions, and sexual intimacy was to be a part of that companionship.
      4. After they rebelled against God, God told Eve:
         Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.” (The New American Standard Bible, 1995 Update, La Habra, California: The Lockman Foundation, 1996.)
         1. Childbirth did not begin because of sin; it increased.
         2. Childbirth was painless prior to sin, and painful after sin.

What is the point? Sexual intimacy in the companionship of marriage is not evil. It is God designed, God given, and a God intended part of godly relationship and godly companionship. Sexual intimacy in a healthy marriage is good. The abuse of sexual intimacy is evil.

Lord, Let Me Show You Around

Posted by David on under Sermons

The past several months have been a time of growing anxiety for many. Some expected Y2K to cause mega problems. Others predicted the end of civilization as we have experienced it. Others expected the world to end with the return of Jesus Christ.

Paul said that the day of the Lord would come like a thief in the night (1 Thessalonians 5:2). For a thief to be successful, he must be unpredictable. He comes when no one expects him. He gives no advanced warning.

That is my understanding of the Lord’s return. I do not doubt that Jesus Christ will return. I do not doubt that this world will come to an end. I do not doubt God’s judgment will occur. I, personally, am not concerned about “when” or “how” all this happens. The “when” and “how” require an enormous amount of human speculation. Just as a successful thief comes by total surprise, my understanding of Paul’s statement is that the Lord’s return will be a total surprise. My only concern is that I belong to God by allowing God to place me in Christ. Then the “when” and “how” are unimportant–whenever that moment arrives.

Play a game with me. Let’s play as if Jesus is making an inspection tour of his congregations on earth. This tour has nothing to do with the end of time. He just wants a personal, direct report from his congregation on how things are going. It is like our “on site inspections.”

We are informed that he will visit West-Ark the first week in February for three days. We are to be prepared to provide him an insightful report on this congregation.

The congregation appoints a committee to meet with Jesus. This committee will do two things: (1) welcome Jesus, and (2) inform Jesus about West-Ark.

I understand that this is a ridiculous game. I certainly realize that Jesus knows everything about this congregation and everyone in the congregation. But I have a reason for playing the game, so humor me.

1. Suppose that you are on the committee.
   1. You are in the meeting that will decide what to do when Jesus visits.
      1. Each committee member states what he or she thinks we should do to give Jesus a good picture of West Ark.
         1. It is your turn to state what you feel we should do.
         2. What would you recommend?
      2. Would you suggest that we give Jesus a tour of the facilities and explain what has happened in the last eighteen months?
      3. “Jesus, this is the foyer. Let us explain what it used to look like.”
         1. “Just look at how much warmer and attractive it is now!”
         2. “Now it creates a more positive impression when a person comes in.”
      4. “Jesus, this is what our seating arrangement used to be. Can you see what an improvement it is now?”
         1. “This arrangement has a positive effect on our fellowship and worship.”
         2. “It looked like a great big cave with isolated groups all over this room.”
         3. “The atmosphere is much better, and the fellowship has really improved!”
      5. “And, Lord, we used to have a terrible problem with water with a heavy rain.”
         1. “Why, I remember a heavy rain about two years ago when you could actually see the water flowing on top of the carpet on the east side.”
         2. “And you could have floated a canoe in the office area.”
         3. “Now the leaks have been stopped.”
      6. “And you simply must see our new Family Life Center and our new elevator.”
         1. “Our entire facility is so convenient now.”
         2. “The Family Life Center just brought our whole complex together.”
   2. Some wonderful things have happened with our facilities in the last eighteen months.
      1. I am profoundly grateful for the many things that have happened.
      2. Some truly beautiful things have happened. But the most beautiful things have little to do with the paint, the carpet, the arrangements, and the space.
      3. To me, the most beautiful things that happened have to do with people.
         1. I watched as a new sense of identity came to life in the congregation.
         2. There is a sense of togetherness that thrills me every time I see it.
         3. So many people involved themselves and shared their talents and time.
         4. So many have been and are so willing to help in any way that they can.
      4. And I want every person who has helped to know that I take none of you for granted, and I deeply appreciate everything that you do.

      C.But, if I were on that committee, my interest would not be in showing Jesus our facilities.

      1. I think it is safe to guarantee you that Jesus’ interests would not be in touring our facilities.
         1. Though he was a carpenter, we do not know one object that he built.
         2. He lived in a time of massive, impressive building projects in Israel–while he lived, things like Herod’s palace area at Massada, Herod’s palace at the Herodian, and the Jewish temple were either under construction or recently completed.
         3. In Luke 21 some people discussed the beauty of the Jewish temple under construction.
            1. Surviving information declares that it was a magnificent building project that produced an incredible building complex.
            2. It was about half complete when Jesus was executed.
            3. As beautiful and impressive as it was, Jesus said, “The day will come when one stone will not be left on another” [Luke 21:6].
            4. To the disciples, that must have sounded impossible.
      2. Jesus did not build buildings; Jesus built lives.
         1. Jesus was in the reconstruction business.
         2. He specialized in rebuilding lives.
      3. When I think of the lives that Jesus rebuilt, these are some of the people that come to my mind.
         1. Mary Magdalene, out of whom Jesus cast seven demons [Mark 16:9].
            1. She was one of Jesus’ closest friends.
            2. She was the first person Jesus appeared to after his resurrection [John 20:11-18].
         2. The sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50 who probably was a prostitute.
            1. She came uninvited into a home to wash Jesus’ feet with her tears.
            2. Jesus forgave her sins.
         3. The man who was possessed by a legion of demons in Luke 8:26-39.
            1. He was totally out of control, dangerous to himself and to others.
            2. Jesus freed him from his demon possession and told him to stay there and tell his family what God had done for him.
         4. Zaccheus, the chief tax collector in Jericho [Luke 19:1-10].
            1. He collected taxes for a profit for the Roman government.
            2. Jesus brought salvation to his house.
         5. The thief on the cross who was crucified beside Jesus [Luke 23:39-43].
            1. As a criminal dying for his crimes, he recognized and confessed Jesus to be who he was.
            2. Jesus told him that he would be in paradise with Jesus that day.
         6. Nicodemus, the well educated, prestigious member of the Jerusalem Sanhedrin [John 3].
            1. He was the religious expert who did not understand the new birth.
            2. He was still Jesus’ devoted friend when Jesus was executed.
         7. The Samaritan woman, who had been married and divorced five times and was living with a man to whom she was not married [John 4].
            1. Jesus offered her the water of life.
            2. She led the village of Sychar to believe that Jesus was the Christ.
         8. The man who was born blind in John 9.
            1. Jesus restored his sight.
            2. He also revealed himself as the Messiah to this man.
         9. Peter, the committed, confident, self-assured disciple [Matthew 23:69-75].
            1. He was certain that his loyalty and devotion to Jesus would make the ultimate sacrifice of death if necessary.
            2. On the most tragic night of Jesus’ life, Peter denied him three times.
            3. After his resurrection, Jesus asked Peter to feed his sheep [John 21:15-17]. Jesus used Peter to present him as Lord and Christ [Acts 2:14-36].
         10. Paul, the scholarly fanatic who arrested and voted for the death of Christians [Acts 8:1-4 and 9:1-25].
             1. The resurrected Jesus converted Paul in a most unusual confrontation.
             2. He also commissioned Paul to a special work as a preacher and teacher.
             3. God used Paul’s letters to comprise most of the New Testament.
         11. John Mark, the young man who began mission work with Paul and Barnabas, but quit [Acts 12:25; 13:13; 15:37,38; 2 Timothy 4:11].
             1. Disagreement about this quitter broke up the greatest mission team that ever existed.
             2. One of the last persons Paul wanted to see before his death was John Mark because “he is useful to me.”
         12. Onesimus, the slave who ran away from his Christian owner [Philemon].
2. If Jesus made “an on-site” inspection of this congregation, these are the things I would want to share with him.
   1. I would want him to see:
      1. What is happening in our benevolent programs.
      2. Different facets of what CURE does (Compassionate Utilization of Resources).
      3. Our use of the Discovery Dinner.
      4. The His Needs/Her Needs seminar and the Healthy Parent/Healthy Kids seminar.
      5. The inner city ministry and the jail ministry.
      6. The counseling work we do.
      7. The youth programs.
      8. Kids for Christ.
      9. The various mission works we are involved in.
      10. Those helped by the Quilters.
      11. The Care Groups.
      12. Our hopes for the small groups.
      13. The people we reach out to in our different forms of visitation and outreach.
      14. The various works we do with those in the 60+ group.
   2. I would want the one who rebuilds lives to see what this congregation is doing to help and encourage people.
      1. That is what he would want to see.
      2. That is what Jesus is all about; that is what Jesus’ people are about.
3. I thank God for our facilities.
   1. I wish that conditions in our culture did not make facilities necessary.
      1. But the reality is that situations and conditions do make them necessary.
      2. Their importance is not seen in their existence.
      3. Their importance is seen in their use.
   2. Our facilities are nothing more than tools for us to use to bless people.
      1. May God give us the wisdom to use them to give glory to God and Christ.
      2. May we have the faith to use them to bless and help people.
   3. If Jesus made an “on site” inspection of this congregation:
      1. I would not want to show him our tools.
      2. I would want him to see how people are being blessed because we use our tools to help people and to bring glory to God.

[Prayer: God, help us place our faith in you. We are so grateful for our tools. May members of this congregation be brought closer to you and to each other because we have them. May we use them to bring this community closer to you and your people.]

If Jesus asked you to report on your life, would you tell him about what you own or about the way you use your life? Would you talk about your possessions or your heart?

Jesus examines your life everyday. What does he see?

The Year 2000: Preparation For Life

Posted by David on under Bulletin Articles

This Sunday morning, January 2, we will begin our new adult classes. The teachers, classrooms, and age groups information is posted at the Visitors’ Center in the foyer. The first quarter we will focus on Jesus as God’s servant. The objective: build an in-depth understanding of Jesus, God’s servant. That understanding is the foundation of your faith, your commitment, your service, and the role you assume in your relationship with God.

The next three quarters will focus on us as sons and daughters of God. If we improve our understanding of our older brother, Jesus, we can understand better the meaning of service, surrender, and stewardship. We want God to mature us. We want to change.

How serious is this study? Buster Herren is conducting a resource session each week for the teachers. Your teachers come each Sunday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. to think with Buster. They are studying, praying, and preparing. They want the class to be an invaluable spiritual asset to you. They want desire to bring you to class each week.

Serious commitment is being made to this study. The elders, staff, and teachers ask you to make a serious commitment to this study. Be a student. Think, study, pray.

Christianity was never intended to be a religion. A religion is an “add on” in life. It fills a compartment marked “spiritual necessity.” In the ranking of important matters, a religion appears near the bottom of the list. It is important at weddings, hospitals, funeral homes, and cemeteries. A religion exists to address moments that we do not control. It is perfunctorily saluted as a “symbol of authority.” It is not about life’s substance.

Christianity is a life. It touches and orients every aspect of life in every detail. God designed it to be a life. Jesus served and died to make it a life-giving existence. When we reduce that life to a religion, it is our creation, not God’s.

These classes are about life. Come learn more about the abundant life.

Just the Facts on the Music Question

Posted by John on January 1, 2000 under Articles

Here are just the facts on the topic of the use of instrumental music in Old Testament and Christian worship. It will be seen that just the facts alone make a compelling case for the non-use of instrumental music in Christian worship.

The primary and derived facts are listed (hopefully) without commentary.

Fact #1 — In the Old Testament, God asked for singing + instrumental music for use in worship (2 Chronicles 29:25-26; Psalm 150). It was something they could be sure about.

Fact #2 — In the New Testament, God just asks for singing (Ephesians 5:19) or the “fruit of lips” (Hebrews 13:15). Hence, singing was something that the worshiper could absolutely be sure about.
But because there is no clear directive from God on the use of instrumental music (as contrasted with the Old Testament), it is something that one can not absolutely be sure about.

Fact #3 — After the church came into being and for at least 400 or so years, God was given just what he asked for (singing). As a result, the word “a cappella” came into being and was the term for “music in the church style.” The use of this term is the musical history of Christian worship in a nut-shell. (“A Cappella Singing,” by Dr. William M. Green, Professor of classical languages, University of California, Berkeley; Encyclopedia of Early Christianity, by E. Ferguson, p629ff)

Fact #4 — Before the New Testament was completed, the church used the Old Testament scriptures as their primary source (Acts 17:11; 18:28, etc.). They had the very scriptures before them that approved and encouraged the use of instruments right down to the naming of specific types (2 Chronicles 29:25-26; Psalm 150). And at the time of the early church, instruments were available and many Christians had the talent to play them … yet this talent was not exercised in worship! The Old Testament scripture was not followed.

Fact #5 — That instrumental music was absent from Christian worship during the days of the inspired Apostolic teaching (John 14:26; Acts 2: 42) proves that the Apostles, who were very familiar with the use of instruments in Temple worship, never encouraged churches to use them.
The above also means that the Holy Spirit never encouraged churches to use instruments (John 14:26) in spite of the fact that it once did so in a direct way (2 Chronicles 29:25ff).

Fact #6 — Ephesians 5:19 has two parts: Singing + Making Melody. The “making melody” is translated from the Greek word “psallo.” It means to “pluck or twang.” The adverbial phrase that follows tells where this action takes place. It is “in the heart” and not on a harp. This fixes the locus of the “plucking” in a figurative sense. Note the contrast with the physical, Old Testament worship (McClintock and Strong’s Encyclopedia , Vol. VIII, p739; Thayer’s Greek Lexicon on “psallo”; personal discussion with Dr. Adrian Herren).

Fact #7 — The design of the New Covenant worship will be different than that of the Old Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31; John 4:23; Hebrews 7:12; 10:1,10; 9:1). Many physical things of the Old pointed to their true substance in the New. For example, in the Old it was the priests that offered physical sacrifices to God, but in the New everyone is a priest with spiritual sacrifices to offer (1 Peter 2:5). It is specifically the “fruit of lips” that is the sacrifice of praise asked for (Hebrews 13:15) and not the sounds from man-made devices. (See Things Old and New in Religion, by Hoyt Bailey, for more examples.)

CONCLUSIONS FROM THE FACTS

Before doing a thing, it is proper to ask “Can we be sure that this is approved by God?”

1. The facts show that we cannot be sure that God approves the use of instrumental music in worship. This makes it a “questionable” and “unsure” matter.
2. However, the facts show that we can be absolutely sure that just singing has God’s approval. All can agree upon this.
3. The total context argues strongly that the non-use of the instrument is a matter of design (i.e., it was no accident that it was left out).

APPLICATION

Since God has had something to say in both Covenants about music in worship …

1. Unity, peace, and assurance are by-products when we practice just what God has asked for (singing).
2. Division, debate, and torn conscience are the by-products of introducing things into worship that are “questionable” and “uncertain” (e.g., instrumental music).

Therefore, common sense tells us that the use of instrumental music in worship is inadvisable in the least.

An Example: The Restoration Movement was a unity effort. The plea was to limit teaching and practices to just what all could agree was a God-given directive and be silent about (not teach or practice) those things that were without direct evidence. For example, individuals may have an opinion that instrumental music would be accepted by God, but for the sake of unity would limit their practice to just doing what God clearly asked for–singing. And this worked until some began to push their opinion and division resulted. Usually most churches in the southern United States going by the name “Church of Christ” are still a cappella in practice while “Christian Churches” use the instrument.

The above has not sought to pronounce any judgement upon those who use instrumental music, but instead to see if the total evidence for its use in Christian worship is positive or negative. It will be left to one’s own conscience as to what to do in the face of the evidence.

It is well to remember that when God specifies a path to follow, we should follow it with full faith in the superiority of God (Isaiah 55:8) … for it is not in man to direct his own steps (Jeremiah 10:23).